limerence.net

This is true. BTW, Jupiter Taco, that's one of the best insights I've ever heard, about the coping skills. Therapists often focus on how bad your childhood was or wasn't, but as you pointed out, it doesn't have to be that bad. It's just a matter of learning coping strategies that worked as a child w...

BTW Jupiter Taco, your insight is very on target. You can have dysfunctional coping skills even if your home life wasn't that bad. I guess my social anxiety made it difficult for me to meet my social needs in a normal way. I have always wondered about this paradox: if I'm so lonely, why do I want to...

I think it doesn't actually matter how bad your home life was I think what matters is your coping skills that you learned to deal with the more unpleasant aspects of life. I know that was the case with me. When I was a child I was forced to live in a way that goes against my natural needs as a high...

D'oh, again. I meant "part of it, L-F, is that..." Etc. Not meaning that you L-F are thinking simplistically but rather that I was responding to you.

Ack, I must learn to edit. Posting at 4am doesn't help.

Bumping this topic. This evening, I was really feeling the void of having so few friendships, and also how some old friends have either faded away or they keep me at arm's length. This makes me so sad. It also reminds me of how I had fantasies of friendships as a child. I did have friends, but only ...

D'oh! When I said "in this group" the first time, I meant the FB group, not us

BTW, I've done that here. Like the guy who said this bartender was an attention-seeking flirt, I just took his word for it. I didn't think about the fact that his perception could be inaccurate and/or self-serving. I've since gotten better at spotting when someone is playing innocent victim and demo...

I think part of it, L-F isn't just simplistic thinking, but sometimes in support groups, it's easy to take the poster's side unobjectively. Like they say what a horrible person someone is and that they are the victim, I think it's a reflex to take their word and not try to do any reality checking or...

If it's any comfort to you, the first time my LO "liked" a tweet of mine, I got all fluttery and thought it meant there was potential there. Classic limerant delusion (with hypersexuality mixed in).

Do you see this person in your daily life? Work, etc?

I'm probably one of those who would say she's a narcissist lol. That is a popular theory in an FB group I'm in. But it is true that many, if not most all, LOs have no idea how the simplest gesture from them affects us. We're just affected by benign and normal contact in an intense way because of our...