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As a member, you'll gain access to our members-only forums, where you can:
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Search found 81 matches
- Thu Jun 18, 2020 3:17 pm
- Forum: Limerence 101
- Topic: Beat limerence - now empty. What now?
- Replies: 14
- Views: 1508
Re: Beat limerence - now empty. What now?
This feeling of emptiness, I believe, is common after limerence fades. It is the hole that limerence is distracting us from. My advice 1) Go to therapy. Try to get to an understanding of what that emptiness is. 2) Start trying to fill the emptiness yourself. This is really hard. It is akin to pullin...
- Wed Jun 17, 2020 3:05 pm
- Forum: Limerence 101
- Topic: My LO as a “Drug” for Loneliness
- Replies: 21
- Views: 1065
Re: My LO as a “Drug” for Loneliness
It's so odd the similar projection of "he hates me", when he's too busy and always waiting for him to reach out to me to do something I often wondered whether LO was a substitute for my children. My older son is 18 and has moved out on his own, and I am noticing these feelings too. When I...
- Wed Jun 17, 2020 2:14 pm
- Forum: Limerence 101
- Topic: What is Limerence? It's an illusion, that's all (LE reciprocated)
- Replies: 11
- Views: 2168
Re: What is Limerence? It's an illusion, that's all (LE reciprocated)
limcoco. No. We are not at the mercy of others for love. To think that love is something that is deserved or earned is one of the hallmarks of growing up in a FUFOO. We are at the mercy of our parents. That's true. There was a moment in therapy where I realized by mother was a narcissist, my ex was ...
- Sat Jun 13, 2020 5:36 am
- Forum: Limerence 101
- Topic: A strategy gone awry?
- Replies: 17
- Views: 692
Re: A strategy going a little awry?
Unfriend. Unfollow. Block. Do it now. If you are worried it will hurt her feelings, STOP. 1. No social media platform makes it obvious when you you unfollow. She likely won’t notice. 2. You’re feelings and state of mind are FAR MORE IMPORTANT than your efforts in trying to save her feelings. You put...
- Sat Jun 13, 2020 5:28 am
- Forum: Limerence 101
- Topic: He told to not speak to him
- Replies: 7
- Views: 1045
Re: He told to not speak to him
If LOs were honest and straightforward they wouldn’t be LOs.
- Fri May 29, 2020 12:03 pm
- Forum: Limerence 101
- Topic: What Song Are You Listening To Right Now?
- Replies: 1758
- Views: 209031
Re: What Song Are You Listening To Right Now?
Favorite lyric for the times:
When can we talk, with a face, instead of using all these strange devices.
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When can we talk, with a face, instead of using all these strange devices.
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- Wed May 13, 2020 5:23 am
- Forum: Limerence 101
- Topic: I screwed up big time.
- Replies: 50
- Views: 30005
Re: I screwed up big time.
I very much encourage you to read up on narcissism. Narcissists do suffer, but they also rarely change. Make sure to center yourself in your own feelings and perspective, and worry less about theirs. If you had a narcissistic parent, this can be VERY hard to do. I’ve never figured out how to delete ...
- Mon Dec 30, 2019 10:08 pm
- Forum: Limerence 101
- Topic: UPDATE: If uncertainty is the fuel for limerence, should I disclose???
- Replies: 35
- Views: 6184
Re: If uncertainty is the fuel for limerence, should I disclose???
Dear Wishmagick: As a person who disclosed multiple times to LO and was met with increasingly painful rejection, and as a person who wrote a letter to NOT an LO telling him I was too in love with him to continue to be friends, and then followed that up with a two-hour conversation where I demanded t...
- Sun Dec 22, 2019 4:18 pm
- Forum: Limerence 101
- Topic: I screwed up big time.
- Replies: 50
- Views: 30005
Re: I screwed up big time.
I agree with NotDayDreaming. Start reading up on narcissistic abuse. There is lots on the internet about it. Abusers make their victims feel guilty and responsible for the abusive behavior. Keep writing here. I find it very helpful to document my journey and hear occasional feedback. A lot of us her...
- Sat Dec 21, 2019 4:10 pm
- Forum: Limerence 101
- Topic: I screwed up big time.
- Replies: 50
- Views: 30005
Re: I screwed up big time.
Hopeless: Please look up the term trauma bond. This guy sounds like a classic narc/psychopath/manipulative member of the dark triad. The behaviors you detail, intermittent reinforcement mixed in with verbal abuse and accusations cause cognitive dissonance, especially in those of us who do not believ...