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Search found 81 matches

by Acrobatica
Mon Jul 27, 2020 4:44 pm
Forum: Limerence 101
Topic: This forum is NOT a Safe Place.
Replies: 65
Views: 4511
France

This forum is NOT a Safe Place.

I am writing this post to warn others that to post here is to risk being shamed for any detail you share. Since limerence is very much wrapped up in shame, this is akin to kicking someone while they are down and it can feel extremely painful. You will also then be told it is your fault for being &qu...
by Acrobatica
Mon Jul 27, 2020 4:18 pm
Forum: Limerence 101
Topic: Long time forum problems
Replies: 33
Views: 2997
France

Re: Long time forum problems

I disagree with keeping concerns in PMs. This allows the cruel comment to go unanswered publicly. It then normalizes that it is OK to comment cruelly on someone's post. It also means that each individual person has to figure out for themselves that certain people on here give very painful or mislead...
by Acrobatica
Sun Jul 26, 2020 4:09 pm
Forum: Limerence 101
Topic: Ending my Emotional Affair
Replies: 81
Views: 7867
France

Re: Ending my Emotional Affair

My personal theory is that much of what we call limerence on here, is actually a trauma bond, which is often part of a relationship with a narcissist. There is a lot of literature out there on trauma bond, and it tracks with the obsessive feelings of limerence. It basically means that the hot/cold, ...
by Acrobatica
Tue Jul 21, 2020 5:08 am
Forum: Limerence 101
Topic: A Rant
Replies: 43
Views: 1291
France

Re: A Rant

And having been in an emotionally, verbally, and psychologically abusive relationship for 25 years, I can attest that it was not at all clear to me. I can also attest that referring me to a women’s shelter was not the right advice. It feels like you are demeaning psychological violence as not real. ...
by Acrobatica
Tue Jul 21, 2020 4:56 am
Forum: Limerence 101
Topic: A Rant
Replies: 43
Views: 1291
France

Re: A Rant

Sex is real. Her lack off desire may be caused by your behavior towards her. Or it may be caused by something else. If the lack is caused by your relationship, you can fix it by being honest and healing yourself. If the lack is her thing, you cannot fix her if she doesn’t want to be fixed. I highly ...
by Acrobatica
Fri Jul 10, 2020 8:14 pm
Forum: Limerence 101
Topic: I am an LO- what to do
Replies: 4
Views: 559
France

Re: I am an LO- what to do

I just want to second two things. (1) Keep the police involved, (2) don’t respond to any further contact from him. No thank yous. No inquiries. While many of us are obsessive, we are usually responding to mixed signals. This guy, with his insistence that he will continue to contact you even after yo...
by Acrobatica
Thu Jul 09, 2020 4:45 pm
Forum: Limerence 101
Topic: Steps I am taking.
Replies: 41
Views: 4348
France

Re: Steps I am taking.

I like your timing on this one! 11:11.
by Acrobatica
Wed Jul 08, 2020 1:11 am
Forum: Limerence 101
Topic: Symptoms
Replies: 8
Views: 671
France

Re: Symptoms

At the time, I would have said it was positive emotions. And, initially, the LE was caused by a positive incident where LO showed that he cared about me in a way that I had not experienced before. I felt valued. But underneath all that was a good deal of fear, uncertainty, and self-abnegation. Like ...
by Acrobatica
Tue Jul 07, 2020 3:54 pm
Forum: Limerence 101
Topic: Symptoms
Replies: 8
Views: 671
France

Re: Symptoms

When I first fell, I did not sleep for about three weeks (I'm sure I did, but it didn't feel like it) and I stopped eating. I lost about 15-20 pounds, which I managed to keep off until quarantine.
by Acrobatica
Mon Jul 06, 2020 7:43 pm
Forum: Limerence 101
Topic: Trust issues
Replies: 4
Views: 502
France

Re: Trust issues

This is a good insight Steve.

Trust is difficult. Do you have a friend in your life you can lean on for a favor? Start with small things. Many, but of course not all, people can be trusted.