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New and looking for perspective

A place for those new to this site. The more experienced users of this site tend to frequent the members only section more.
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selkie354
Posts: 155
Joined: Fri Jan 22, 2021 5:17 pm
Canada

Re: New and looking for perspective

Post by selkie354 »

Thanks for sharing that Spadge, a good reminder to put things into perspective. Glad to hear you are starting to do better.

"will never see LO again forever" to "will not see LO today" <Agree with Spadge and nowords. This is a great way to think about it AMA. As for me, no reason to contact LO today and I'm not going to invent one.

Stay strong everyone!
itry
Posts: 122
Joined: Fri Dec 04, 2020 3:20 pm
Gender:
Great Britain

Re: New and looking for perspective

Post by itry »

Hey @Spadge, congrats on the green shoots of recovery! I am so glad for you :ymhug:

Agree with all of you, not thinking about future too much and taking it one day at a time is the way.
Spadge100
Posts: 291
Joined: Sat Oct 24, 2020 10:02 pm
Gender:
Great Britain

Re: New and looking for perspective

Post by Spadge100 »

Thanks Itry!! Yep definitely feel now I am turning a corner. Still ruminate but it’s more just nice memories of our time together and acceptance that’s done now and in the past.

Sure I will have bad days, but feels like the good are outweighing the bad. I’m looking forward to the weekend for the first time in months.

I wish you all a happy and not too limerent weekend 😃
mycorona
Posts: 259
Joined: Wed Aug 05, 2020 7:16 pm
Gender:
Great Britain

Re: New and looking for perspective

Post by mycorona »

Hi itry and Spadge selkie and all.
Have a great weekend all. Good news Spadge, keep on going with NC.
I'm on tomorrow morning for my "Oscar performance" of how are you, geeze we're such good friends aren't we? Hate it. Wish I could just disappear sometimes.
Anyway......
Me: F
LO: M
Both Married
“Invisible Threads are the Strongest Ties” ― Friedrich Nietzsche
Spadge100
Posts: 291
Joined: Sat Oct 24, 2020 10:02 pm
Gender:
Great Britain

Re: New and looking for perspective

Post by Spadge100 »

Good luck mycorona, remember to try and look for the negatives, and focus in on them. Our LOs are only human after all, it’s just a shame we don’t see them that way!!

Have a lovely weekend all
itry
Posts: 122
Joined: Fri Dec 04, 2020 3:20 pm
Gender:
Great Britain

Re: New and looking for perspective

Post by itry »

@mycorona, hope this meeting goes better than the last one. Please try not to hate your LO too much! :(
He doesn't know what he is missing by not giving you the due importance. Applies to all our LOs I guess!
mycorona
Posts: 259
Joined: Wed Aug 05, 2020 7:16 pm
Gender:
Great Britain

Re: New and looking for perspective

Post by mycorona »

Thanks for the support you guys.
It went very well - on the surface of course. He is still being nice to me - too nice and normal.
It's hell for me but what choice do I have but to put my shoulder to it. It's not hell for him, he's quite happy with everything. I know that because if he wasn't happy with things why would he not do something about it?
Anyway, it's over for today but he wants us to meet up again on Monday! Think we may be snowed in so will probably be able to avoid that. What he gets out of this ridiculous set up has me confused!. He doesn't want me, so how is it enough for him to just have me around? Is it a man ego thing? And if not, what's wrong with him?
Hope you are having a better weekend Spadge and not thinking much about your LO. You too itry, I feel for us all. Has your LO been in touch with you itry?
Me: F
LO: M
Both Married
“Invisible Threads are the Strongest Ties” ― Friedrich Nietzsche
Spadge100
Posts: 291
Joined: Sat Oct 24, 2020 10:02 pm
Gender:
Great Britain

Re: New and looking for perspective

Post by Spadge100 »

It’s not going too badly thanks mycorona. A bit of rumination but nothing I can’t handle and to be expected.

It must be really hard to go through what you are going through. He may be having the same conflicting feelings you are. Too scared to approach it or raise it. Ultimately we never know what anyone else is thinking unless we ask.

Enjoy the rest of the weekend. I think the snow will miss me hopefully!!
selkie354
Posts: 155
Joined: Fri Jan 22, 2021 5:17 pm
Canada

Re: New and looking for perspective

Post by selkie354 »

mycorona,

Sorry you are still struggling with things, I do think sometimes LOs can be drawn to the ego boost, it can feel good to have someone who likes you around. Especially when other areas of life aren't going well. I myself have been guilty of this with other male friends at times. I suspect this is at play with my LO as well. Makes it hard b/c they end up getting hooked on the boost and send mixed signals so that you don't get over them - annoying for a regular person but torture for a limerant.
mycorona
Posts: 259
Joined: Wed Aug 05, 2020 7:16 pm
Gender:
Great Britain

Re: New and looking for perspective

Post by mycorona »

Think you may have hit the nail on the head there selkie.... Yes, it must be nice for them. But as William Blake said..."thus could I sing and rejoice, but it is not so with me"
Me: F
LO: M
Both Married
“Invisible Threads are the Strongest Ties” ― Friedrich Nietzsche
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