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Would love to hear how wrong that voice was

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IvB
Posts: 280
Joined: Thu Nov 12, 2020 8:30 pm
Czech Republic

Re: Would love to hear how wrong that voice was

Post by IvB »

Mamasita, don't be ashamed! How could you know, we don't automatically expect our head to deceive us! Whom else we should trust, what we see and hear and this is the reality, right? And then you realise it might not be and it's scary. But not to be ashamed of.
Spadge100
Posts: 291
Joined: Sat Oct 24, 2020 10:02 pm
Gender:
Great Britain

Re: Would love to hear how wrong that voice was

Post by Spadge100 »

Hi Mamasita\IvB

That shame and embarrassment is all part of it but completely unwarranted and unfounded. I think in a way it’s just the annoyance that a normally sane, rational and intelligent person can be hijacked so spectacularly by their emotions.

That’s how I feel about it anyway. It robs you of your normal rational self and that feels scary that’s for sure.

Damn pesky brains!!
Nowords
Posts: 42
Joined: Mon Nov 23, 2020 3:28 am
Gender:
United States of America

Re: Would love to hear how wrong that voice was

Post by Nowords »

Dreaming blue (and everyone else)

- so many words of wisdom, and sadly, pain here. Limerence is so damn difficult and so confusing. It plays and preys on our minds. The "limerence voice" is horrible, intrusive and loud. However. It does begin to whisper. When I first began trying to figure out what the hell was going on I found this place and another called living with limerence and thank goodness I did. The one thing that stood out was the notion that given time it goes away. I didn't believe it...or maybe I didn't want to believe it. I am not sure. For me...there is still that voice, but I listen to it differently now and that has helped the pain quite a bit. I have learned to listen differently based on what I discover here and other places. If anything I recognize my own growth and constantly remind myself I am becoming a better person overall. For me, my biggest growth has been sincere love. I simply love my LO as a person - a person who is as flawed and vulnerable as anyone else - an individual trying to figure it all out too and causing damage along they way, but not meaning too. All I can do is live the 24 hour cycle in the present the best that I can and find little tricks to help me stay positive...it can be simple things like looking forward to reading something, drawing, watching a show, etc., or rediscovering why I fell in love with my SO in the first place...

None of it is easy at all. In fact, it sucks....like a lot. Some days are not great. But, moving to not great from crying and feeling like its not worth going on is, well, a big step and I am proud of that step. I have a ways to go. You do too.

So, I guess all I am saying is time is your friend. In time your chemicals in your mind settle back down. As people point out often, NC/Blocking/unfollowing....whatever it is helps. For me...I have gone with LC (Low Contact) and when there is an exchange (usually an email) I keep all the emotion out of it. I lower all expectation like expecting a quick response or even a response at all. She is human after all...and I respect that and simply do what I can to recognize she never meant any harm -

Wishing you well.
-----
“A thing can be true and not the truth,”
― Kristin Hannah, The Great Alone
Maddie
Posts: 1515
Joined: Fri Feb 02, 2018 1:09 am
Gender:
United States of America

Re: Would love to hear how wrong that voice was

Post by Maddie »

Spadge100 wrote: Mon Apr 12, 2021 10:19 pm
That shame and embarrassment is all part of it but completely unwarranted and unfounded. I think in a way it’s just the annoyance that a normally sane, rational and intelligent person can be hijacked so spectacularly by their emotions.

That’s how I feel about it anyway. It robs you of your normal rational self and that feels scary that’s for sure.
Yes, it's amazing how you all GET it on here. You summed up a large part of it. I started coming back to the site to remind myself of the disorder of limerence (that people on here can relate to)...it is a REAL condition....not just stupid/foolish behavior, selfishness....it's REAL...and I need to develop some compassion for myself, so Spadge, I appreciate the words. sometimes I imagine how others who don't have limerence would judge my actions and I just go down the rabbit hole of horrible thinking.

and thank you Dreaming blue. I wish you real progress on this journey :ymhug:

mamasita...very good to hear from you :ymhug:
I hope you live a life you’re proud of, and if you’re not, I hope you have the courage to start all over again.

F. Scott Fitzgerald
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