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Need to redefine and limit the term of Limerence, doubts

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Significant other
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Need to redefine and limit the term of Limerence, doubts

Post by Significant other »

There are many similar terms, related to Limerence: Erotomania, Celotype, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (relational, love affairs), Emotional dependency, infidelity (physical, emotional / affective), etc ...
Let's go in parts:
Erotomania (Clarembault Syndrome):
Paranoia, with delusions about an affair with a person, generally outside the patient's social circle.The object of desire is usually someone unattainable due to their social, economic status or LOVING SITUATION (SO?), And with whom a relationship has generally NOT BEEN MAINTAINED. RELEVANT INTERACTION.
Despite this, the patient maintains an UNSHAKABLE FAITH that it is reciprocated and observes HIDDEN MESSAGES or signs of RECIPROCITY in the smallest details.
Primordial defensive mechanism:Denial
Honey
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Re: Need to redefine and limit the term of Limerence, doubts

Post by Honey »

Sometimes the above conditions overlap with limerence.
David
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Re: Need to redefine and limit the term of Limerence, doubts

Post by David »

there is a lot of confusion over the use of the term limerence. I often see it used to describe the New Relationship energy (NRE) in relationships.

The neurochemicals are the same however, i think limerence is different because its the obstruction to consummation that fuels the uncertainty which in turn fuels the desire.

Desire is where attraction meets uncertainty.

I think Tenov's greatest mistake was to call it something that has little significance to the actual condition. We did debate this many years ago.
Purchase the 24 part video series on overcoming limerence - see https://limerence.thinkific.com/courses/healing-limerence
Significant other
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Re: Need to redefine and limit the term of Limerence, doubts

Post by Significant other »

I have read something of NRE,But is not enough developed.
For Limerence ,I prefer the Wakin &Vo Love Variant.But (R )OCD, is perhaps the better definition.The attachment theory is also valid.
The adicction theory is complementary,the endogenous neurotransmitters,are be altered already by OCDs-ore are the cause.
This is only my inexpert opinion.
AnonAustralia
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Re: Need to redefine and limit the term of Limerence, doubts

Post by AnonAustralia »

my life experience with limerence it feels like OCD.

No doubt attachment disorders, anxiety, and things mend together to cause Limerence. Even if we don't agree that its an attachment disorder per say, or that its definitely OCD. Or even if we disagree that it has anything to do with anxiety.
Significant other
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Spain

Re: Need to redefine and limit the term of Limerence, doubts

Post by Significant other »

David wrote :
"
The neurochemicals are the same however, i think limerence is different because its the obstruction to consummation that fuels the uncertainty which in turn fuels the desire."

That is precisely the exact point I wanted to reach, but in other words:

-Once there is consummation, it is no longer limerence, it is infidelity! -
👌
Another reflection:-One emotional affaire (EA)can be considered as limerence or as infidelity-.
(Almost isn't comunicated to SO ?)
L-F
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Re: Need to redefine and limit the term of Limerence, doubts

Post by L-F »

David wrote: Fri May 21, 2021 6:22 am Desire is where attraction meets uncertainty.
^^^ I like this.

I'd also say FEAR keeps us in the loop.
Many LO's have mentioned they fear rejection yet subject themselves to rejection on a daily basis.

I'd also say that it's not so much the dopamine hits that keeps us in the loop but the lows. There's something really titillating about being out of luck, almost as if it gives us permission to wallow in self-pity.

I loved playing 'poor me' because then it wasn't my fault, it was the fault of the universe, fate, anything that was 'out of my control' such as their narcissism, not mine.
"And in the end, we were all just humans…Drunk on the idea that love, only love, could heal our brokenness." ~ F. Scott Fitzgerald
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