Thoughts on trauma and flashbacks
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trigger warning, things might get a little intense as this post contains sensitive topics like abusive parent)
Hey all, hope everyone is well! Thank you all, the ones who have already and perhaps the ones who will after I post this, for sharing your experiences. You guys are amazing people, every single one of you, regardless of what past you have, what you have faced. Don't let anybody tell you otherwise.
I discussed EMDR with my therapist but I didn't need it.
I was at home, doing usual stuff. Then out of nowhere, a memory came in just like that!
…I think it was because I was thinking about my childhood more than usual, so…
The brain is great at protecting itself and pushing horrible memories deep down. Trauma can cause you to selectively forget that the event has happened. This is called dissociation, if you're curious. Dissociation is your brain's way of coping with trauma by separating itself from reality.
In my experience, uncovering a memory hurts deeply. It was incredibly painful, I felt this sudden panic set in, it was like my whole world shattered.
I couldn't stop thinking about it for the next few weeks and I needed professional help processing all of it so I could discard it.
I'll spare the details but I was physically abused by my father when I was young. I was in my early teens when he hurt me. I don't even remember what the root of the conflict was and it doesn't matter, violence is always wrong.
I have spent a lot of time thinking and sobbing, it has not been easy, but I have a great support system (my SO included).
But I'm so grateful the truth is now out. I feel sad but also right, like the world makes sence now.
I will be forever grateful to LO for everything he has done for me. He knew exatcly what to say because of his ex gf. And I'm so glad I didn't tell him to fuck off. Thank you for all the reality checks, but sometimes, you just have to trust your gut and take a chance on people. I am no longer obsessing over him, but I still like him a whole lot.
L-F wrote: ↑Sun Jul 04, 2021 4:49 pm
As I mentioned Cookie, it's to see another perspective (which might help others).
Its not about saying both are narcissists and leaving it at that
Its about recognising the wounds you both share and moving forward
Seeing the mirror image is to see the sameness (same wounds - wound mates)
This grows compassion, kindness and empathy
This leads to forgiveness
This is not about LO, it's about the mirror image
Self
Forgiveness release oneself from the pain of being a victim
A very special thanks to
L-F for helping on my journey
"Trauma creates change you don't choose.
Healing creates changes you do choose."
– Michelle Rosenthal