Have hummed and hawed for the last couple of days before actually deciding to post on this thread.
The above was posted prior to reading Cookie's, Mycarona's or JT's comments.
It's a pity Cookie won't be here to read this thread by David - why all those with limerence are narcissistic
https://www.limerence.net/forum/viewtop ... =45&t=7373 (regardless of it being mutual or not)
@Mycorona, 1. I don't dictate who can and cannot post here. Everyone posts of their own free will. 2. It's always nice to read someone else blame their LO because it makes us feel better. Blame appeases the ego. It means no inner work need be done because the focus is taken off the self and put on the other.
Sorry for hijacking again theorina.
1. My intentions are to support.
2. If you throw buckets of cold water but can't handle cold water thrown, then don't throw cold water.
3. Cookie, I do believe you brought up
stages first stating that theorina wasn't at that
stage, whatever stage that is, hence going with 'stages'. We are all at different stages, naturally.
4. If anyone is interested in going beyond the blame game to no longer be
pained by someone else's reactions, perhaps consider subscribing and getting one-on-one support from David about how to get out of the Drama Triangle. It's worth it for peace of mind!
5. I don't dislike anyone or hold grudges. What I dislike are personal attacks yet not the person. Like I mentioned to David, we say the same things and he gets bouquets while I get brickbats. So from now on, I'm only going to quote David. All those with limerence are narcissistic (see thread above).
6. Yes, like anyone else, I have feelings. I am not without
empathy, compassion and consideration.
7. Yes, I make mistakes. I think its safe to say we all do.
8. No, I'm not going to get drawn into the drama game and fire back needlessly with bitterness on my tongue, it's a waste of my energy and holding hatred only hurts me.
9. Yes, I'm still learning and will always remain learning.
And lastly, I want to talk about my experience of being seduced. What I mentioned in the post above I've never disclosed on here. I was subtly seduced for a year and at the end of the year, found myself limerent.
Now you might not think that's a big deal but here's the thing, it was strong enough to bend my sexual preferences (it has happened to others as well, so I'm not alone in this). Can you, the heterosexual / lesbian / ____ (fill in the blank) reader imagine being attracted to someone outside of your field of preference? Limerence is a powerful thing.
But. It's all about egos and at some point my ego loved being seduced / stroked. So, for that reason alone, I can not blame LO for being the seductress she was. Her narcissistic traits hooked mine. Mine. My ego lapped it up.
It took a gay counsellor to explain love languages, and even though we are all human, I believe men and women have different love languages. Being a heterosexual woman, I had no understanding of a woman's love language. Had LO been a man, I would have spotted his flirty overtones and put up barriers.
But here's another thing. Limerence is covert by nature. It weaves its magic until you find it hits you in the face. IMO.
Whatever your situation, there is light at the end of the tunnel. Like AMA's signature states - never give up!
"And in the end, we were all just humans…Drunk on the idea that love, only love, could heal our brokenness." ~ F. Scott Fitzgerald