How can I stop being sexually attracted to my lo

[timfmurph]

I’ve developed an obsession on a female acquaintance of mine. She is so sexy and beautiful that I can’t stop thinking about her. She’s not into me. But I’ve known her a long time and I can’t go no contact. Please help.

[DreamingBlue]

You can't.

Jerk off to her. Focus on her flaws. Let yourself feel this, stop fighting it. Just don't say or do anything you'll regret, and you'll move on eventually.

[loslabios]

I have asked the same question over and over. So far, I have not found an answer. Sexual attraction is not something we have much, if any, control over. Sexual attraction operates mostly in sub cortical parts of the brain that do not speak human languages. The best way to not be attracted to somebody is to not interact with them. I do think some people can age out of attraction. Just my thoughts and opinions.

[L-F]

Monks and Nuns train themselves to not react to these feelings. They feel and acknowledge their attraction and through practice, they've developed a deep understanding that yes these feeling arose, but in a moment these feelings will also pass. They don't act on these feelings because they know these feelings are temporary, ever-changing states and by not acting on, or giving attention to these feelings, it will help make their mind stronger so they can cultivate the type of concentration necessary to develop wisdom, dispel ignorance and end suffering.

So I guess the answer lies in trying to reduce your attachment to lust as opposed to removing these feelings.

[David]

The best way to not be attracted to somebody is to not interact with them.

Can take a long long time for the attraction to dissipate though even after we've gone NC

[loslabios]

I would love to visit those monks sometime. My personal belief is that it is entirely possible to have feelings but to not reach the conclusion that feelings mean some sort of action is necessary. In reality, feelings are just chemical reactions. I love my dog passionately. I do not ever believe that I must have sex with the dog because I love the dog. It is entirely possible and socially accepted for a person to love a dog (or son or daughter) and not pursue ab sexual relationship. So, is love the same thing whether the object is a dog, or a son, or a daughter? I think the answer is yes. Love is Love. Lust, or sexual desire ia separate from Love though they can coexist and often create confusion.