why all those with limerence are narcissistic

[David]

Incidentally, how come when I say the same things as you David I get brickbats and you get bouquets?

[L-F]

Honestly, if you created a program to help people to open their minds to this, it could replace therapy.
It could be called 'The Radical Honesty Program'

I agree LF

Although Brad Blanton beat you to it with his book Radical Honesty: How to Transform Your Life by Telling the Truth

I read this early on in my limerence and it blew my mind

Well then, I'll just have to write up a one day workshop called "Let's Cut to the Chase!"
I'll help people become desensatized to the notion. A non-sugar coated program minus the 'lets sit and hold hands and complain about others' philosophy.

Narcissistic traits are WOUNDS! Passed down. Learned behaviour. Nothing drastic. Focus on healing what was handed to you to give yourself the gift of freedom.

Geesh... I don't know what all the fuss is about.

[Spadge100]

Absolutely agree with all of this. Once you accept that actually limerence is a very selfish pursuit you really start to break it down to what it is in the end, no big deal. (Although I couldn’t have said that a year ago).

- You can’t help what you think about but you can change how you react emotionally to it. You can’t beat yourself up for thoughts, it makes it stickier
- Mutual limerence when married in my opinion is the least fun and selfish pursuit that is possible. Eventually the brain realises this and limerence falls off a cliff
- NC is essential to help break the fantasy. Over time you really don’t want to know anything about them as the whole episode was selfish. Where mutual, selfish on both sides. Going NC completely breaks the selfishness
- I would also advise going NC with mutual friends where feasible. It makes me anxious and also annoyed with myself to know they may feed things back. It may be extreme but it certainly helps me.
- Any further contact is for your own benefit and no one else’s. They don’t need to know about you, need checking on, need any updates. All contact ultimately is selfish no matter what your brain tells you.
- Move on, don’t react to the feelings. You are better than that.
- Read all about CBT techniques and reframing thoughts. It helps a lot and I am in a lot better position and calmer than ever.

Every human on Earth is selfish to a degree as it’s human nature to want your version of best for yourself. Always remember that this magical being is definitely not best for yourself.

Good luck all, freedom may feel a long way off but really it’s round the corner if you let it