Acceptance

[IvB]

It's my birthday too today

LO's birthday was a week ago and I always (second time now) wish him happy birthday very sweetly, even if I am attempting NC most of the time.
But like you both say, he never remembered mine. Despite the fact that early on when I got limerent (and he was very much infatuated with me too!) he remarked what a coincidence that our birthday is so close. So yes, I see very clearly where on his priority list I stand (even though when I wished him happy birthday, he wrote "you're really special, you know"). Well, I am not, I guess. So Struck, I agree, you are fully entitled to ignore her birthday. And yes, she was fishing. I know because I wanted to do the same, though I didn't

[AMA210]

Happy Birthday, IvB.

[shoegazer]

Happy Birthday, IvB.

I second that. Happy birthday IvB!

[Struck613]

Happy birthday IvB!

[IvB]

thank you all

[Struck613]

Whether I'm willing to admit it or not, ever since I learned LO had an SO back in January I've been hoping/waiting on her to leave him for me. In reality, there was probably always a 0% chance that would happen, but I'm just now reaching the point that I can't even pretend to hold out hope anymore.

My relationship with LO is very weird. There are times we'll text every day for 10 days straight, but our texts are so surface level that in the year plus that we've been texting, her boyfriend has only come up once (as her reason to reject me when I asked her out). I don't ask about him, she doesn't talk about him. Since we never talk about him, I don't really know if they're still together. I used to keep trying to read into her texting behavior and habits to see if I could pick up any hints, but at this point it doesn't matter. If they aren't together anymore, then that means LO is single and knows I like her, but hasn't said anything to me about it meaning she's not interested. If they are still together, well that means they've now been together for about a year and she clearly isn't so overcome with emotion for me that she's ending their relationship to come running to me.

Deep down I've known this was true the whole time, but I think I need to just keep reinforcing it in order to stamp out whatever slim hope that's still left.

[David]

What helped my own limerence was to understand what it means to be a healthy mature man in these ever challenging times.

There is much out-there in the virtual world to help. Even better is in the real world get involved in men’s growth work.

[IvB]

Struck, I am mutually limerent with my LO but I have an SO. I never talk about him either, because I don't want to hurt LO, "rub it in". But also to kind of pretend that he isn't there...
You are right, if she was single and interested, she would have hinted.

[David]

What helped my own limerence was to understand what it means to be a healthy mature man in these ever challenging times.

There is much out-there in the virtual world to help. Even better is in the real world get involved in men’s growth work.

How ironic that I wrote this and then i read the news today of the death of the poet and founder of the modern men’s movement Robert Bly. His book Iron John, left a deep imprint upon me.