Worst Date Stories

A place to help from being limerent again and how to cope with limerence in future relationships.
Post Reply
JupiterTaco
Posts: 4607
Joined: Sun Jun 28, 2015 6:12 pm
United States of America

Worst Date Stories

Post by JupiterTaco »

What are your worst-date stories? :-B
Last edited by JupiterTaco on Thu Jul 05, 2018 6:20 am, edited 1 time in total.
I gotta know right now, before we go any further, do you love me, will you love me forever-Meatloaf, Paradise By The Dashboard Light
Idiotic
Posts: 1968
Joined: Sun Sep 03, 2017 7:58 am

Re: Worst Date Stories

Post by Idiotic »

How do you put up with so many annoying dudes?

You know i don't have a bad date story, does that mean i have very little life experience? :-?
I keep dancing on my own - Robyn
JupiterTaco
Posts: 4607
Joined: Sun Jun 28, 2015 6:12 pm
United States of America

Re: Worst Date Stories

Post by JupiterTaco »

Idiotic wrote: Fri May 04, 2018 6:48 pm How do you put up with so many annoying dudes?

You know i don't have a bad date story, does that mean i have very little life experience? :-?
I don't have much either, probably why I only had one. But usually the racist/sexist/whatever-ist ones show themselves right away so I can avoid them. :D
I gotta know right now, before we go any further, do you love me, will you love me forever-Meatloaf, Paradise By The Dashboard Light
yalegirl

Re: Worst Date Stories

Post by yalegirl »

Hi everyone this is a piece I wrote for the Paris Review last year. I am too lazy to rewrite it...it is about my worst and only date


I had my first date when I was fourteen: a boy named Bobby Dublin asked me to go to a movie. My second first date was last year, and though I’ve had almost half a century to work on my romance skills, the second was possibly worst than the first. At least the first one came with popcorn and a Nestlé Crunch bar.

Between these two landmark occasions, I was married for forty years. I met my ex-husband at grad school in the late sixties, and people then didn’t date; they “hung out.” We “hung out” for two years before we got married, at which time I assumed I’d never be called upon to do this again.

But I was wrong, and eight years ago my husband asked for a divorce. We’re still friends, but being alone after that many years requires readjustment. In my case, readjustment consisted of being angry, swearing off men, and wishing I could marry my dog, Cecil. As this was not possible, my friends kept telling me to try dating sites. One of them had met a gorgeous man on Match.com who lived two streets away from her. He’s a doctor and pretty much the total package; they got married and have lived happily ever after. So I signed up.

I thought my profile was clever and compelling. No one else did. No one cared that I have great taste in music, read a lot, and am a good cook. I got a few responses—not from anyone I’d want to meet, except perhaps the horny seventeen-year-old who said he liked cougars. It was tempting, but I thought if I engaged with him the stress would give me a stroke or a heart attack.

Then one man sent me a note. He was divorced, solidly employed, and had read a book or two. We chatted on the phone. He had an American accent, but he told me he was Indian, Parsi to be specific. We made a date for the weekend and I started getting ready for the big event.

Now, here’s why I’ve decided that I’m constitutionally unable to date: I forgot how to do it. All I could remember was that it was critical to keep the conversation rolling. So I went online and Googled Parsi. The Parsis, or Zoroastrians, practice an ancient religion, and they’re very much a minority in India, I discovered; there aren’t many left. They’re known for being highly educated and often wealthy. I should have left it at that, but I kept researching.

I found a piece from 2012 in the Wall Street Journal about one of the Parsis’ most pressing problems: the vulture shortage. Traditional Parsis still adhere to a moving, beautiful practice called dokhmenashini, a sky burial in which they rest their loved ones’ corpses on high pillars in sacred Towers of Silence, and wait until birds of prey descend and leave nothing but the clean white bones. The mourning process takes four days.

For centuries this has worked out quite well, but because of environmental issues, the vulture population is now dwindling. The deceased are left on their pillars to bake under the hot Indian sun. I won’t go into detail, but it’s not a pretty picture.

When I read this article, I thought I’d hit dating gold. I had a unique, distinctive conversation topic. All was well.

But sitting across the table from my date at a drab restaurant near Hartford, Connecticut, I could tell we weren’t a match. I knew he knew it, too. Still, I’d studied for this, and I thought I might be able to add kindling to the fire. So I said, “I am so sorry to hear about the vulture shortage in India.” He looked at me like I’d just grown a second head. He didn’t say a word, so I pressed on: “If my mother had died and she was on a tall pillar and no one was eating her, I would be bereft.”

I took a long draw on my Tanqueray and tonic and waited for his response. After a long pause he said, “I’m sorry, but I have no idea what you are talking about.” To my surprise, American Parsis don’t see the vulture crisis as a pressing issue. In fact, he’d never heard of sky burial. “My father is buried at the Holy Name Cemetery in Wallingford,” he told me, adding, emphatically, “UNDERGROUND!” And that was that. We left before we could even order entrées. He looked nauseous, and I know I was.

I’m not counting on a third first date. But I still think the vulture situation is a wonderful conversation starter. Maybe Cecil wants to hear about it.
User avatar
LisaTranscending
Posts: 898
Joined: Thu Oct 01, 2015 12:48 pm

Re: Worst Date Stories

Post by LisaTranscending »

I did laugh at your dating fiasco.... but don't swear off dating...just weed out the humorless and unimaginative.....be yourself until the one who likes you and gets you shows up YG
Idiotic
Posts: 1968
Joined: Sun Sep 03, 2017 7:58 am

Re: Worst Date Stories

Post by Idiotic »

I have a question though , didn't the guy google anything about you? I mean at least you googled his religion to find out more , didn't he come with any prepared stuff?
I keep dancing on my own - Robyn
JupiterTaco
Posts: 4607
Joined: Sun Jun 28, 2015 6:12 pm
United States of America

Re: Worst Date Stories

Post by JupiterTaco »

I think that was a good idea, that's way more effort than I would've put in for someone I don't know.
I gotta know right now, before we go any further, do you love me, will you love me forever-Meatloaf, Paradise By The Dashboard Light
User avatar
LisaTranscending
Posts: 898
Joined: Thu Oct 01, 2015 12:48 pm

Re: Worst Date Stories

Post by LisaTranscending »

But JT and Idiotic...that is what yG likes to do...and part of who she is. Someone would greatly admire her effort and intelligent curiosity.... I think it is endearing. YG must open many oysters....but in the process she stays herself
yalegirl

Re: Worst Date Stories

Post by yalegirl »

Hi everyone; no he didn't google me, he only knew my screen name on Match which like my alias on this site is not my real name. I am a hardcore researcher both in work and in other regards, so that is just my MO. I find most people (men) are not that interested in who someone is unless they are hiring them. Even if he was able to google search my photo (like they do on the TV show Catfish) I am sure he did not bother. And then again I suspect that even if he had figured out who I am he would not have prepared a "dating script" nor surmised that I was likely to discuss buzzards in India eating dead people as my conversational opener. Yes, that is just me. I am still shucking oysters and looking for a pearl.
Rocinante
Posts: 167
Joined: Fri Jun 08, 2018 3:19 am
Gender:
Spain

Re: Worst Date Stories

Post by Rocinante »

yalegirl wrote: Wed Jun 06, 2018 3:44 pm Hi everyone; no he didn't google me, he only knew my screen name on Match which like my alias on this site is not my real name. I am a hardcore researcher both in work and in other regards, so that is just my MO. I find most people (men) are not that interested in who someone is unless they are hiring them. Even if he was able to google search my photo (like they do on the TV show Catfish) I am sure he did not bother. And then again I suspect that even if he had figured out who I am he would not have prepared a "dating script" nor surmised that I was likely to discuss buzzards in India eating dead people as my conversational opener. Yes, that is just me. I am still shucking oysters and looking for a pearl.
Hilarious date story.

I think I wouldn't have assumed that an American Parsi would have any connection to this and I would've maybe dipped my toes into the discussion rather than diving in (I'd be worried about my date thinking I'm racist for thinking 'every' Parsi has the same immersion in a tradition), but I identify completely with doing this research for the possibility, that I read as "incurious." I think that it just speaks to YG looking for someone who is intellectually curious as she is; like, if you're Parsi why wouldn't you learn a lot about your own background?
Rocinante • https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rocinante_(disambiguation)
RECLUDET PRATERITIS! <-- Current mantra / magic spell ("Quarantine the past!")
Post Reply