i told my SO about LE early on, because I believed that if I hided it from her it would be cheating indeed and it would have broken the marriage. my wife still took it very hard that surprised me, because as a man, I thought physical cheating was bad, but platonic one, not so much. Apparently, for women, it's the opposite, platonic one is worse than physical "indiscretion." this is why i'm surprised your H took it so hard.Acrobatica wrote: ↑Wed Nov 07, 2018 3:48 am The reason I did it, outside of some gentle nudging from this forum, was that I felt ready for divorce. But I truly can’t figure out why I can’t stand to be around H. I felt like if it had something to do with keeping secrets from him, this relationship deserved me trying to figure this out. I was too afraid to hurt him by telling him I had a crush on LO, but leaving him without him fully understanding everything that was going on with me seemed like it would be inflicting a worse, less honest pain. So I told him.
At this point, I can’t say whether I recommend it or not. For most of this week, I wondered if I just gave him more ammunition to hurt me. Now, I just don’t know.
my wife took it hard too and she had a PTSD-like reaction. She didn't come back home for a few nights and that made me jealous indeed. she did come back with a book and we did "therapy" reading it together chapter after chapter. this is the book and I can't recommend it enough for you and your H:
Not "Just Friends": Rebuilding Trust and Recovering Your Sanity After Infidelity by Shirley P. Glass, Ph.D.