I hope that something is changing

What did you learn from your expereince of limerence? How did you change? how did you grow? What were the upsides and downsides?
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DreamingBlue
Posts: 173
Joined: Fri Dec 11, 2020 11:33 pm
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I hope that something is changing

Post by DreamingBlue »

The great benefit of no contact as it takes you off the treadmill.

The treadmill is still there and it’s still running, but you can observe it because you aren’t caught up in a minute by minute cycle of posting/hoping that LO likes/ liking LO’s post or commenting on it and hoping he or she saw etc. That is the true pain engine.

I think the biggest change I’ve noticed is is that even though my urge to reach out and give an update is strong -I’m going through a family reunion now that’s very emotional for me in a good way, When I hear the request from my brain I treat it like a little child, kind of like “ no no no we’re not gonna do that.” It immediately helps me label the thought as the irrational, addictive cravings of a child.

I am still wounded by my slip ups looking at pictures of her and her SO they really do hurt, Even though when I look at it for face value I realize what a sad delusion all of this was for me. She’s just a normal woman living her normal life the same way she would be if I wasn’t such a weirdo. I would just probably be friends with her and that guy and it would be nice and everything would be fine. That’s another thing to mourn is the outcome in which we just become friends and enjoy each other without all the weirdness.

Anyway this was a very long way of saying that maybe I am moving on even if in tiny incremental steps
L-F
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Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2017 9:55 am
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Re: I hope that something is changing

Post by L-F »

DreamingBlue wrote: Tue Jul 06, 2021 8:23 pm The great benefit of no contact as it takes you off the treadmill.

The treadmill is still there and it’s still running, but you can observe it
Great description! Stepping outside of one's own trap.
That's self-awareness!

Way to go!
Learn to forgive...Life is too short to live with hate.
"Everything is within your power, and your power is within you." Janice Trachtman
DreamingBlue
Posts: 173
Joined: Fri Dec 11, 2020 11:33 pm
United States of America

Re: I hope that something is changing

Post by DreamingBlue »

Thank you and I will say that the real thing that has given me a little bit of progress is the act of trying by not trying if that makes any sense.

Everyone here is struggling and making it worse by fighting their feelings and pushing them away. We have to not be afraid of the thoughts or the feelings -let them sit around and eventually we won’t notice they’re there.
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