Limerence can be a catalyst for change

What did you learn from your expereince of limerence? How did you change? how did you grow? What were the upsides and downsides?
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Limerence can be a catalyst for change

Post by Spinnaker »

Last edited by Spinnaker on Tue Aug 06, 2019 8:44 pm, edited 3 times in total.
“Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.”
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Re: Limerence can be catalyst for change

Post by LostAgain »

Thanks for that.I think I know where you are coming from.
I reckon I had a breakdown in summer 2016 after my mum and then dad died within a six month period (after years of deterioration,it must be said).
I became more and more vocal in my Limerence and felt like I was on an acid trip,a bad one,when I was out in public.
I carried on working as a criminal lawyer,god knows how.I recognised just how horrible the people in my profession were to eachother.
Not for the first time in my life I was teased and bullied when I was down and enfeebled.
I went to the 'School of Life ' vids and looked into Existential Crisis.It was scary.
I recognised that my ideas of who and what were flying into lots of pieces and wondered if they would ever reassemble.
They did,minus a few pieces (fuck knows where they went;on the floor,under the washing machine?)
Now the pieces have come together again but less tightly formed,so I feel a bit more able to bend with the wind rather than snap.
I am grateful for the process as I am able to see more clearly now but it was 'well sketchy' at the time.
As far as LO is concerned she is still able to destabilise me,even though I see her faults.NC is best.It really is. :o)
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Re: Limerence can be catalyst for change

Post by JupiterTaco »

You've been through a lot, Spinnaker. I can relate to my limerence being a catalyst for change. After I went through and acknowledged my limerence for what it was, my whole life started upheaving. It was part of the process for me I guess, but it helped me get to a better place in the long run.
I'll follow you down to the sound of my voice that haunts you-Silver Springs, Fleetwood Mac
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Re: Limerence can be catalyst for change

Post by Maddie »

Great video, Spin. Thank you.
I hope you live a life you’re proud of, and if you’re not, I hope you have the courage to start all over again.

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Re: Limerence can be a catalyst for change

Post by MetsFan »

I’m by no means through my LE, but I can see that it has had two main positive effects on me. A year ago when it started to ramp up, I sought distraction through exercise. I’ve now lost weight and feel better about myself and I’ve continued with it. I’ll fully admit I was at least party motivated to do it by the thought that I would be making myself more attractive to my (much younger) LO. But now, it’s for me because it makes me feel better.

Secondly, and more recently as this LE has dragged on I’ve spent a lot more time on introspection. What is this about, why has it effected me, what am I missing, doing etc? Are there better ways to live, think? Again, I don’t have the answers yet, but I feel like I’ve started down a path with a positive end.

Neither happens without LO barging into my life.
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