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Met LO Five Years Ago Today

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AMA210
Posts: 2385
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2016 2:17 pm
Location: Midwest
Gender:
United States of America

Met LO Five Years Ago Today

Post by AMA210 »

It is a strange day.
I met LO five years ago on this day.
I've been thinking about the inner journey that has unfolded and provided with a very necessary transformation of myself. The only way to pull myself out of the rabbit hole was to do all of the inner work, over and over again, an almost relentless pursuit of a better version of myself.

Today, I am grateful for all that has been accomplished and I could stop here. Although, there is still more work to be done, with finding the roots/reasons why I am drawn into relationships with unavailable men. I fear this will take a lot of digging, but I have come this far already, so may as well continue on the journey with the tools that I've acquired up to this point in time.

It was not "love at first sight", but rather "love after two months" and before I even realized what was happening to me, I was caught up in a whirlwind of emotion and eventual limerence.

I am trying to accept that limerence is just another part that makes up who I am. It doesn't define me, but rather, has become incorporated into who I have become. For a long time, I thought that limerence was something that would go away eventually or something to be overcome. With time, it holds the potential to fade, but it always remains.

Thanks for reading.
:)
Never give up! Keep moving forward, no matter what.
mamasita
Posts: 1109
Joined: Wed Oct 11, 2017 10:27 pm
Gender:
United States of America

Re: Met LO Five Years Ago Today

Post by mamasita »

This day must be bittersweet for you, Ama. When anniversaries like that pop up, my first thought is always "what happened to me?!" And then the second thought, I've come a long way and this could have ended up much worse. Keep up the good work!
IvB
Posts: 280
Joined: Thu Nov 12, 2020 8:30 pm
Czech Republic

Re: Met LO Five Years Ago Today

Post by IvB »

This makes me worried. For me it was also realising too late what was happening but I still hope that it will go away...you are right it's fading but I hate the idea that it will always be there...
selkie354
Posts: 155
Joined: Fri Jan 22, 2021 5:17 pm
Canada

Re: Met LO Five Years Ago Today

Post by selkie354 »

IvB,

I think everyone is different. I have had 3 distinct episodes (currently in number 3) and a number of mini episodes that never got full blown (either due to early reciprocation or rejection or circumstantial separation). I am over my first 2 LOs, the first one I look back on fondly the second makes me want to puke. The first lasted around 2 years the second a bit over a year, currently going on almost 2 years with this one. I don't obsess over either #1 or #2. I also have been non-limerant at times in my life between episodes it has not been a constant for me. I do think the potential to be limerant will always likely be there, but I certainly have not always been in the extreme throws of it.

AMA I think you are a bit unlucky to be in it 5 years. Have you ever had an episode before?
AMA210
Posts: 2385
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2016 2:17 pm
Location: Midwest
Gender:
United States of America

Re: Met LO Five Years Ago Today

Post by AMA210 »

@selkie: "AMA I think you are a bit unlucky to be in it 5 years. Have you ever had an episode before?"

I have other components in my LE that are in my blog, and involved more of an energetic connection with LO, so I think this is most of the reason why this has taken so long to play out.

I had one other LO when I was 18 and that one lasted about 2.5 years. Also my first boyfriend, so that says a lot right there, in addition to extreme physical attraction that went both ways.

I was never limerent for the exSO though.
Never give up! Keep moving forward, no matter what.
selkie354
Posts: 155
Joined: Fri Jan 22, 2021 5:17 pm
Canada

Re: Met LO Five Years Ago Today

Post by selkie354 »

AMA,

That is interesting about your first boyfriend. For me I definitely felt the glimmer and could be somewhat obsessive about a few of my actual relationships early on, but it never got into full blown limerence territory if things were ever clearly reciprocated for me. All of my episodes have involved intermittent reciprocation and barriers. Seems others are different and can be limerant for someone they have an actual relationship with.
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