Sad Day

[mycorona]

@selkie
Thanks for reading some of my story. I wish us both relief from limerence and hope in finding something to replace this need to be loved, appreciated, desired...I guess the list is long for us limerents. Why we crave these things and do not seem to have them with our SOs is a mystery to me. We are all hopeless romantics and dreamers I think.

@Spadge
Thanks for the encouragement Spadge. And I wish you strength going through with your NC. You're doing so well, keep it up.
you said..."Please do be careful for what you wish for though. After a kiss\night together and a four month EA, I can honestly say the pain\depression\anxiety\guilt\shame\rumination really doesn’t compensate for the giddy times at first."

Yes, I guess but there is the other side of that, the yearning for it, the wondering if he wants to kiss me as badly as I want to kiss him. It's a mind f..k either way I think. If we get it we either want more or regret it terribly and if we don't get it, we want to get it so badly.
The human condition!!!
A mystery.....

[Spadge100]

Breed mycorona the mind can be a wonderful thing but also the most annoying thing in the world at times!

That damn chimp brain needs to keep out of affairs of the heart that’s for sure!!

[mycorona]

Ha ha Spadge. Chimp brain - love it!

[selkie354]

mycorona

Yes hard to know why we need these thing so badly. My SO certainly loves me, I feel so guilty that this is not enough. Digging down for me it probably does have something to do with my father. While always present and supportive, he was always very emotionally closed off and distant. My mother is the one with the obvious issues, but the more I think about it he has his as well, they are just buried. I guess part of me always wanted to heal him from the pain I sensed, have him open up to me.

One thing I think may trigger some of my physical insecurity is that during puberty I gained some weight, nothing crazy just enough that I didn't look my best, both parents would make mean comments about my attempts to diet and weren't themselves particularly good examples in this regard. I think there is part of me that internalized that I was not good or attractive enough. Even though I have gotten in much better shape since then and generally think I am attractive, I suppose sometimes still I need the extra validation of that from a man.

Thinking about this stuff is not fun but hopefully we can figure it out and heal. Good luck!

[itry]

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[ireneadler]

Hello everyone,
All valid points. A lot of what happened in our childhood,
Some sort of imbalance crept in and left a mark in your life, right before you got limerent.

@itry

Interesting theory!
100% true for me. I’ve always had crushes, but broken trust is what likely led me to an all-consuming limerence.

[itry]

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