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A 'success story'

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Pool

A 'success story'

Post by Pool »

I posted on here before - unfortunately I can't remember the username!

It was several years ago that I met LO. I fell almost instantly, she was perfect. Lovely, kind, smart, a bit shy... and I was sold. I was in a LTR at the time and there was a big age difference with LO, I knew it was silly, but couldn't get her out of my head! She was the first thing I thought of in the morning, the last thing at night - and pretty much everything in between. I'd see her around from time to time and eventually started finding reasons to go past her department, but when I encountered her one-to-one, I'd freeze and turn to jelly. In the end I went the other way, and started avoiding her completely.

This actually started off a chain of events which saw me leave my LTR... I realised I was not in love any more, just putting up with the status quo - and feared the change more than anything else. I established a new relationship elsewhere, and completely re-evaluated my life. To a degree, this helped take away the block I had when encountering my LO, and we started to chat in passing occasionally. I think this helped dispel the 'mystery' around her, which was half of the compelling attraction... It didn't totally diminish my fascination at that point, but it was the start.

Fast forward a few years, and we're friends. She's been one of a few people that I've been in regular contact with during the pandemic, and we can chat for hours on the phone. I love her to bits (as a friend), she's been very supportive over the past year and I check in regularly to see how she's doing. I think I know her well enough now to understand that there's not an inkling of romantic interest on her part (though I can't say I wouldn't oblige if I ever picked up on any) and I'm perfectly happy to have her as a friend, and nothing more.

It can have a happy ending....
JupiterTaco
Posts: 5666
Joined: Sun Jun 28, 2015 6:12 pm
United States of America

Re: A 'success story'

Post by JupiterTaco »

Good to hear! I always wondered whether there are some people who just always push that button in us or if it's all in getting distance, perspective and healing. I'd like to believe the latter but idk if I'm brave enough to try someday.
"You know for a big black guy Cleveland's got a cute little white ass!" Peter, Family Guy
"Um...that wasn't Cleveland," Brian
Cookie
Posts: 1190
Joined: Wed Sep 27, 2017 4:08 pm
United States of America

Re: A 'success story'

Post by Cookie »

This is so great to hear, Pool! And I believe this may be the first actual "success story" I've ever read as far as staying friends with an LO.

I did have a couple things to ask--not to take the air out of this wonderful balloon, but just out of curiosity as to how things can work:
--Does the person you're in the new relationship with (if you still are) mind that you talk for hours on the phone with your LO?
--Does the LO herself have a romantic relationship with anyone, and is he accepting of your friendship with her?

I would have liked very much to stay friends with my LO, as you've described here, but it would have always involved "hiding" something from our SOs. I wish at times we could have been transparent all around. And again, very glad to hear that you've come out on the other side of this.
Person
selkie354
Posts: 155
Joined: Fri Jan 22, 2021 5:17 pm
Canada

Re: A 'success story'

Post by selkie354 »

This is the dream...

I had a bit of this with my first LO. I also found someone else right after getting over the limerence. I think you can kind of come out of it and see that while you like them that it wouldn't really work, once you get to know them. I also had this with a friend (that I would not say I was full on limerent for) I liked him and he liked me (more) but we weren't right for each other. You just can't get to this place while you are actively limerent: the brain just waves away their flaws and dealbreakers. I think what scares me with my current LO is that I don't know enough to rule him out, what if I get to know him and he is perfect for me! (very unlikely but while you are still afflicted this possibility still feels very real).

Definitely appreciate you sharing, I do believe there can be many different paths out of this. Glad you are doing better!
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