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The most definitive article I've read on Limerence - an interview with the author

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ghost_rider_1970
Posts: 9
Joined: Sun Apr 03, 2016 10:27 am

The most definitive article I've read on Limerence - an interview with the author

Post by ghost_rider_1970 »

Hi everyone :)

I am still finding my feet a little in so many aspects of my life following on from my Limerent Experience.

On my journey to find answers, so I could rediscover myself, for me the first article I came across is still by far the best. It is superbly written with beautiful compassion, and explains everything in perfect detail. I couldn't find any reference on the forum so thought I would post it here:

http://bthaw.blogspot.co.uk/2011/08/gui ... rence.html

I think it is so good that have I've made this post a 'sticky'. Especially as it so cleverly treads that fine line between giving credence to the reality of the feelings felt through Limerence while also addressing the power and addiction created by the fantasy.

Paul :)
Last edited by ghost_rider_1970 on Thu Apr 21, 2016 3:06 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Endgame
Posts: 250
Joined: Fri Mar 06, 2015 11:09 am

Re: Th most definitive article I've read on Limerence

Post by Endgame »

Yes, I remember finding this at the height of my LE and feeling the same.

Then I read down and discovered it is written by a 15 year old. And I felt quite depressed.
ghost_rider_1970
Posts: 9
Joined: Sun Apr 03, 2016 10:27 am

Re: Th most definitive article I've read on Limerence

Post by ghost_rider_1970 »

Yeah, when I first started to read her blog I wasn't sure how a 15 year old could understand something so profound.

Her opening paragraph was so strong though, and her writing so articulate, that I was immediately captivated by her knowledge and understanding. I wish I had her insight and wisdom, yet alone discovering LE when I did :)

For me her article is so perfect as she conveys so much without alienating anyone with preconceived ideas. Where she really does address the full nature of limerence.
Lonelygirl
Posts: 95
Joined: Mon Jun 22, 2015 11:20 pm
Age: 38

Re: Th most definitive article I've read on Limerence

Post by Lonelygirl »

That's a very well written article. She has a great understanding of limerence and describes it perfectly. Most of what she has written in this article can be used to partly describe how I feel.
I'm 30yrs old and suffered this for over 18/19 yrs in total and I still don't understand it or why I feel like I do.
headyheap
Posts: 6
Joined: Sun Jun 05, 2016 11:49 pm

Re: The most definitive article I've read on Limerence

Post by headyheap »

Amazing article! I disagree with the idea that confession would squash limerence with acceptance or rejection. I true it thinking the same thing and it didn't change at all. I had both acceptance when it turned into a relationship with LO and went through rejection when he ndedit and even later became engaged to another. My limerence has never changed under either circumstance. I have only been able to manage by thought discipline to stay balanced and it's constant work.
SendThePainBelow
Posts: 136
Joined: Fri Jul 15, 2016 11:47 pm

Re: The most definitive article I've read on Limerence

Post by SendThePainBelow »

headyheap wrote:Amazing article! I disagree with the idea that confession would squash limerence with acceptance or rejection. I true it thinking the same thing and it didn't change at all. I had both acceptance when it turned into a relationship with LO and went through rejection when he ndedit and even later became engaged to another. My limerence has never changed under either circumstance. I have only been able to manage by thought discipline to stay balanced and it's constant work.
I know what you mean Heady, I also had acceptance once and it turned out being in a relationship with her was actually worse because of my obsessive nature and tendency to over-analyze almost every single little thing, literally!
Spinnaker
Posts: 2360
Joined: Mon Oct 10, 2016 7:25 am
Gender:
United States of America

Re: The most definitive article I've read on Limerence

Post by Spinnaker »

^#(^ oops
“Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.”
Carl Jung
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Wallflower
Posts: 56
Joined: Fri Feb 24, 2017 11:01 pm
Wales

Re: The most definitive article I've read on Limerence

Post by Wallflower »

I can relate to nearly every single one of the symptoms.. And it's been going on for 11 years (with the same person).
marko
Posts: 1802
Joined: Sun Feb 26, 2017 4:20 pm
United States of America

Re: The most definitive article I've read on Limerence

Post by marko »

Thank you, as new here I finally have some assurance that I've not totally lost my mind. My wife is walking by, and I wonder what my LO is doing. It's so true, given I met the LO and didn't have this I wouldn't have any interest in her other than she is attractive. I don't like dogs, drinking a lot, and the excessive cursing. I try to see and avoid her and pout when I don't. She will be gone when she finds a new job, and we don't live close. I need this to happen soon, but tear up thinking about it. How come I love this misery.
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limerentgirl
Posts: 82
Joined: Fri Oct 14, 2016 2:02 am

Re: The most definitive article I've read on Limerence

Post by limerentgirl »

I really like that article. It's just amazing.

However, makes me totally sad to think that no one knows any real cure for this.

The only thing that seems to help in the short-term is physical activity. Other than that, what everybody says is wait and work on your issues

I mean... I don't have major childhood issues that I have not addressed in therapy or that I keep thinking about. I don't know, honestly, what does it mean to work on my issues (I'm a very practical person).

My parents are really nice. I had a nice life before this LE, despite previous serial limerent episodes long ago. I have an anxious attachment style, but not sure what to do about that objectively. I rationally know that my LO is not gonna fulfill all my emotional needs and that he is likely a good person. I'm a nice person, no other relationship issues. When in a relationship, I have a normal behavior. However, I seem to be stucked in this hell.
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