well shit...

[L-F]

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[David]

Ha. I got to look shame in the face! I do regret all that I put myself, SO and LO thru, but hey, I'm sure we are all stronger because of it

Fuck shame. Its cost me too much in my own life. Shame dumped on me by others that had their own issues that they did not take responsibility for.

[JohnDeux]

..... It felt as though the end result was abandonment... the abandonment of self. That void which used to be filled with possibilities, dreams, fear... gone.

I'd mentioned before a feeling I had before when just getting ready to start the efforts to emerge from the last LE. I was looking out a window and work and could see in the distance LO with another male work colleague and feelings of jealousy were mixed with something else. That 'something else' gained an inner voice that said "....and you can just pretend it meant nothing!..". Since my LE with her had really only sprung from office chit-chat, it *really* was nothing.....there was no relationship being abandoned. At some point around that time, I had the strong sense that I had abandoned myself, not in the LE per se, but long before that......sending me down a path that would *be* limerent prone until I finally faced that abandonment. The abandonment of the self in this case might be considered the secondary abandonment that resulted from a primary one going back to early days in FOO. But at some point in the adolescent and teen years, I can recall just focusing on being the 'career automaton', being quite tired already of emotional hijacking that was partly filled by the "possibilities, dreams, fear"..... Let's hope this better-feeling path in the latter half of life is a bit more open and even-keeled.

[L-F]

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[L-F]

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[Matty5000]

Fuck shame. Its cost me too much in my own life. Shame dumped on me by others that had their own issues that they did not take responsibility for.
[/quote]

I feel like this would be an awesome signature ;p

[Spinnaker]

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[L-F]

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[Spinnaker]

[L-F]

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