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Question-- trying to back out of this "relationship"
Re: Question-- trying to back out of this "relationship"
Yes, not out of the woods. LO just changed his profile pic and it came up on my news feed. He's usually not on FB that I can see, which I wasn't either until the NC. I'll admit I've been posting for him to see for a while now. Now's he's active. Are the two related? not sure. my point is today it took everything in my power (including prayer) to not "like" his post. he NEVER posts anything. But it took everything I had. Why?! LE is an addiction.
Point to note: the extreme urge to act passed (for the most part) in a matter of minutes, meaning, if we don't give in to urges, they do pass!!! will it return? I don't know.
Better news:
Today is my anniversary with SO
I could've lost it all you guys...for a lustful moment seemingly void of impulse control. NOT TODAY!!!! NOT WORTH IT.
Point to note: the extreme urge to act passed (for the most part) in a matter of minutes, meaning, if we don't give in to urges, they do pass!!! will it return? I don't know.
Better news:
Today is my anniversary with SO
I could've lost it all you guys...for a lustful moment seemingly void of impulse control. NOT TODAY!!!! NOT WORTH IT.
I hope you live a life you’re proud of, and if you’re not, I hope you have the courage to start all over again.
F. Scott Fitzgerald
F. Scott Fitzgerald
Re: Question-- trying to back out of this "relationship"
Your resolve will pay off! Stay strong and enjoy your anniversary!
“Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.”
Carl Jung
Carl Jung
Re: Question-- trying to back out of this "relationship"
Thank you
I hope you live a life you’re proud of, and if you’re not, I hope you have the courage to start all over again.
F. Scott Fitzgerald
F. Scott Fitzgerald
Re: Question-- trying to back out of this "relationship"
Kia kaha!
Stay strong my friend!
Stay strong my friend!
"And in the end, we were all just humans…Drunk on the idea that love, only love, could heal our brokenness." ~ F. Scott Fitzgerald
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Re: Question-- trying to back out of this "relationship"
Happy anniversary! Enjoy your day!
Re: Question-- trying to back out of this "relationship"
Wonderful weekend with SO and the kids!
Today I have logged on to FB and see that LO has "liked" a couple of my posts-- One where I'm announcing that it's my anniversary (hmmmm) and one (I'm not gonna lie) that I posted just for him to see...well....and anyone else who could benefit ;)
I am presently talking myself out of going back to his recent post (profile pic change) and "liking" it
Don't think I will. Sounds stupid even as I write this.
Why analyze this to death? My only point in liking his pic is to send a freaking "subliminal" message -- "I'm still here, thinking of you, waiting, contemplating..."
Ridiculous.
Today I have logged on to FB and see that LO has "liked" a couple of my posts-- One where I'm announcing that it's my anniversary (hmmmm) and one (I'm not gonna lie) that I posted just for him to see...well....and anyone else who could benefit ;)
I am presently talking myself out of going back to his recent post (profile pic change) and "liking" it
Don't think I will. Sounds stupid even as I write this.
Why analyze this to death? My only point in liking his pic is to send a freaking "subliminal" message -- "I'm still here, thinking of you, waiting, contemplating..."
Ridiculous.
I hope you live a life you’re proud of, and if you’re not, I hope you have the courage to start all over again.
F. Scott Fitzgerald
F. Scott Fitzgerald
Re: Question-- trying to back out of this "relationship"
Maddie, I used to do the same! I admit that a few "likes" from LO sent me in a tailspin of ruminating and convincing myself that he was "reaching out" with those likes! Same with Snapchat, when I could tell he viewed my snap, it made me want to SNAP all day long!Maddie wrote: ↑Mon Nov 05, 2018 9:21 pm Wonderful weekend with SO and the kids!
Today I have logged on to FB and see that LO has "liked" a couple of my posts-- One where I'm announcing that it's my anniversary (hmmmm) and one (I'm not gonna lie) that I posted just for him to see...well....and anyone else who could benefit ;)
I am presently talking myself out of going back to his recent post (profile pic change) and "liking" it
Don't think I will. Sounds stupid even as I write this.
Why analyze this to death? My only point in liking his pic is to send a freaking "subliminal" message -- "I'm still here, thinking of you, waiting, contemplating..."
Ridiculous.
When he didn't view my snaps, I would be sad, and not snap for weeks...wallowing in the fact that he hated me or was ignoring me or not interested in me. It was mighty convenient for HIM that he could just "view" something and I would reach out, initiate, throw out the bait.
The urge to gain his attention (I thought I was subtle) is still a sign that the limerence is still in there, begging for a moment to flare up! Don't post, don't like. I admit that everything I have posted over the past 2 years was to see if I could get his attention.
Interaction with him will pull you back into the cycle that you are escaping from!
I could not unfriend LO from FB but I absolutely hid him from my timeline. I do occasionally go to his page but I set small goals to NOT go to his page.
I looked at his page once last week but I will not look again until December...if I still want to by then.
Things that should be normal with all other friends cannot be normal with an LO. And that's okay.
Re: Question-- trying to back out of this "relationship"
Good point, Mamasita! You get it.
Yeah, this subliminal message crap that I'm doing is freaking ME out!
I just stopped myself from posting ANOTHER song professing my "love " for him.
And I also did not go back and like his pic!
Progress , not perfection
Yeah, this subliminal message crap that I'm doing is freaking ME out!
I just stopped myself from posting ANOTHER song professing my "love " for him.
And I also did not go back and like his pic!
Progress , not perfection
I hope you live a life you’re proud of, and if you’re not, I hope you have the courage to start all over again.
F. Scott Fitzgerald
F. Scott Fitzgerald
Re: Question-- trying to back out of this "relationship"
This is exactly the point I’m at...trying to wean myself off his social media. While we are no longer ‘friends’ he has pretty much an open profile and I also check out his friend’s pages to see if he’s posted anything on there. When we were friends I was spending crazy amounts of time researching and posting songs, I’d alter the privacy settings so he’d be the only person that could see them. Kind of embarrassed and ashamed when I see all the music and the other stuff I posted to entice him in, smacks of desperation and craziness...not the most attractive of qualities!
I’m desperately trying to distract myself with other things, but finding it very hard. I miss him.
I’m desperately trying to distract myself with other things, but finding it very hard. I miss him.
Re: Question-- trying to back out of this "relationship"
LC,LadyChat wrote: ↑Tue Nov 06, 2018 1:28 pm This is exactly the point I’m at...trying to wean myself off his social media. While we are no longer ‘friends’ he has pretty much an open profile and I also check out his friend’s pages to see if he’s posted anything on there. When we were friends I was spending crazy amounts of time researching and posting songs, I’d alter the privacy settings so he’d be the only person that could see them. Kind of embarrassed and ashamed when I see all the music and the other stuff I posted to entice him in, smacks of desperation and craziness...not the most attractive of qualities!
I’m desperately trying to distract myself with other things, but finding it very hard. I miss him.
I did not know you could alter privacy settings in that way.... See, that was a partial problem, releasing songs that aren't congruent of my public persona, and wondering...what is everyone else going to think of what I just posted....?
Yeah, I miss LO too. Every time I look at my phone and he hasn't messaged (via FB, we never texted), I am disappointed. And he even knows the "right times" to message. It's been a long time since he's messaged. Yeah, I will probably feel ashamed if I send out something ("subliminally" is what I call it) for JUST him to see. I think I've hit a bump in the road since he's increased FB activity. I'd like to remember that my self-esteem WAS climbing as I wasn't reaching out. I can get back there, in a short while, if I get back on the right path.
So you're trying the NC, too, huh? not that I'm completely NC...I know that...only true NC I guess will be no social media, nothing.
Sounds like you're really making progress. Thanks for replying LC.
I hope you live a life you’re proud of, and if you’re not, I hope you have the courage to start all over again.
F. Scott Fitzgerald
F. Scott Fitzgerald
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