I screwed up big time.

[mycorona]

NotUseless
Stop worrying about him! Seriously. Stop!
I've read the whole thread and Sherlock Holmes wouldn't figure out who you are talking about!
Seriously. Stop worrying about him! Right now. Think only of yourself from this day on......

[NotUseless]

Perhaps, but I know this guy well and none of you do. I know what he's capable of. You might not be able to work it out, but I can guarantee that if he read it, he would. He's already vengeful (hence the threats to released material imnediately prior to his own suicide) and I don't want to take the chance.

Surely it's my right to ask that my posts be removed f
For whatever reason even if I posted them anonymously?

[mycorona]

@ NotUseless
Yes, I think it is your right to ask for posts to be removed and maybe they can do that. I'm sure it would make you feel better if they were removed. But if your LO ever did leave 'evidence' behind him after suicide you would be within your rights to claim he was a total lunatic who stalked you on social media etc. Who could argue otherwise?
Good luck...

[NotUseless]

Oh, absolutely no doubt that if he did either what he's threatened to (which is bad enough) he would be seen as a lunatic. He actually already is - he's put a lot of people offside. If he does what I suspect he wants to, which is to get revenge by either making public or sending to my husband the intimate pictures I shared with him, then again, he would be seen as a lunatic. But also, it would damage my marriage, and that's why I think he wants to do it. Being able to claim him to be "a lunatic who stalked me" will be of no comfort whatsoever if he does that.

What I'm trying to do now is to lay low and hope he finds someone else to feel more aggrieved about. Hence my request to remove the posts, because of the risk he will search out key words, find the story here, become upset that I've shared my side and find some way to punish me using the blackmail materials he alluded to still having. I do have screen shots of his suicide threats if anyone thinks I am exaggerating but again I don't want to share these in case he finds them.

[mycorona]

Hi NotUseless
You've got yourself entangled in a spider's web of craziness with this LO. People are often very angry about things that happen to them - rightly or wrongly. And he sounds like a first class Narc. Firstly, I think those who threaten suicide like he has on several occasions, seldom carry it through - it's a threat to others "treat me better or I'll kill myself, etc". It's very manipulative. I think your idea of lying low and letting him focus in on someone else (God help her) is a good one. I just hope you can do it. Don't be tempted out of the shadows by him, let him try to goad you out but be firm. Stay away.

Perhaps you could consider disclosing just enough to your husband and you might feel better and more relaxed about what LO might threaten to do. Just an idea. Up to you.
Good luck.

[mycorona]

...Also, don't be so hard on yourself about sharing pics, etc. You are only a human being and you were tempted by this man. It's not the end of the world. I remember you said you were 12 years older than him. I'm 10 years older than my LO and his obvious attraction to me and his tempting of me, hit me like a baseball bat to the head. We're very vulnerable to that as we age, us women. You guys reading this should take care not to put out anything you have no intention of following through with when you are dealing with a woman older than you. Remember what the poem says, "tread softly because you tread on my dreams".

We're easy to lead on, because we believe you mean it.

Lastly, NU. Your husband, who I am sure loves you, might be more forgiving that you realise.
Be easier on yourself.

[NotUseless]

Oh I'm not punishing myself for having shared intimate images. It was inbelievably stupid, but I was under the spell of limerence at the time which I now know to be an extremely powerful delusion, and he took advantage. That said, I really do very much want this incredibly specific story removed from the web, because if ever he works out my issue was limerence and he googles for three seconds, he will find it. Or worse, my husband could.

[HopelesslyDevoted]

I totally get where you're coming from, I'm pretty sure that my LO could figure out who I am if anyone told him to look up limerence, similarly, my husband could, it's what held me back from posting here for so long.

I've tried to keep most of my posts in the members only section so that anyone glancing past this forum wouldn't see anything too descriptive.

That being said, a lot of our stories are very similar and I think you could read a few posts be other members and wonder if it was me or not.

I made sure my username was something unexpected from both LO and SO point of view, I don't think either would imagine I'd chosen it.

I hope you get a response from admin about whether they will remove it or not x

[NotUseless]

That's the thing. There is only one limerence forum not on reddit, and it would not take much to.put two and two together.

[NotUseless]

...actually, the situation is so much better now. I admitted all to my husband who forgave me immediately. L
Blackmail risk gone. Ex-LO can do whatever he damned-well likes and if he's alive, he gets done under revenge porn laws, if he's not, I take it out of his estate.

I *still* care about LO, which just got rewoken because he emailed me to apologise, so now I have to work on that limerence stupidity again. But it's a simplified problem.