Social Media NC - LO's SO

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Aysheal
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Re: Social Media NC - LO's SO

Post by Aysheal »

Thank you for the clarification AMA, I understand better now. And congratulations on getting rid of your addiction to your ex-LO; I see (in your blog and in other threads, not necessarily very recent) how despicable his behavior can be.
I’ve been L several times. It didn’t last long bc I got all flustered in front of my LO: it was so unpleasant I quickly got over it. This time, my LO is an actor, I’ve no chance to be in contact with him and the LE has been going on for almost 2 years.
JupiterTaco
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Re: Social Media NC - LO's SO

Post by JupiterTaco »

I don’t know if I can add much at this point. I'm generally for slipping once in awhile if it stays on track most of the time fir most things, but limerence is one of those slippery slope things. Social media is terrible...
"He got down on one knee and he said, Tonya, would you not marry me? Because I love you too much to make you unhappy. I know what's in your heart. Be true to yourself, Tonya. Follow your heart," Tonya, The L Word
Cookie
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Re: Social Media NC - LO's SO

Post by Cookie »

AMA210 wrote: Sun Feb 28, 2021 10:45 pm I don't want to break my streak more than I want to break it, so that is really good. LO's birthday is coming up on March 5, so that day will be difficult for me.
Hi, AMA!

Hope you will stay strong and fill your day today with positive things.

I can say that it's made a world of difference detaching from LO and his entourage on social media. There is nothing to be gained from looking in--it's just more fuel for anxiety and self-doubt. I've ditched social media completely, TBH, and life is so much better.

Much like the "staying friends" with LO thing, I'm still waiting for ONE story about how retaining a social media connection with an LO or continuing to keep tabs has worked out. I haven't heard, seen, or read a single success story. I guess it depends on how you define that, but yeah.

For what it's worth, LO confessed to me in a weak moment that his over-the-top SM world was not at all an accurate reflection of his miserable home life. I think his words (spoken somewhat angrily) were, "You see my posts and think that everything is great!" And I'm thinking, "Yeah, thanks for finally admitting it, faker."

It's just perpetuated attention-seeking adolescence, all of it. Just my opinion, but there's a world out there waiting for us as the minutes tick away.
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selkie354
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Re: Social Media NC - LO's SO

Post by selkie354 »

Cookie,

I've actually managed to keep LO#1 on social media. Of course when I was limerent for him (~a decade ago) I compulsively checked it analyzed everything. We moved away from each other approximately a year or so after my limerence started to fade. The first year apart there was a little bit of messaging etc. At this point there is none of that. I still check his profile, but very rarely, maybe every year or two. I am still curious and still feel affection, in a way similar to any ex boyfriend.

^Don't want to imply this is a good idea for anyone. Just adding a data point. I do think it is best to avoid having the SM connection if possible

LO#2 actually deleted me on SM. Its a long story but it stems from his drama with an ex-girlfriend. He seems to have deleted everyone that had any connection to her. So it wasn't actually about what was between us.

With this episode, even before recognizing things as limerence I knew it would be a very bad idea to add my LO on social media. I just knew I would be obsessive about it, I haven't added him and that is definitely for the best. However we do have another app (not fb) that we use which still has some of the issues, but at least there are no life updates and pictures with SO etc.
AMA210
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Re: Social Media NC - LO's SO

Post by AMA210 »

Well, it was a good run. Came in at 2.5 weeks, which beat my old record of 2 days. :ymparty:
I was proud for having done it and now I know that I can do it again.

After the first LO sighting of the week, I was ok and I kept the SM block on.
Although, the second sighting broke the streak, and on his actual birthday, no less, so I was very curious about what it would provide.
Last year's posts were fabulous...the homemade smoothies, favorite cake, and some sappy declarations of being the best person in the whole world. It was a big deal, so I was expecting to see something. There was nothing. In my absence, there was also nothing.
I'm pretty sure the block will go back on because it severely limits the availability.
Never give up! Keep moving forward, no matter what.
Cookie
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Re: Social Media NC - LO's SO

Post by Cookie »

selkie354 wrote: Fri Mar 05, 2021 3:32 pm Cookie,

I've actually managed to keep LO#1 on social media. Of course when I was limerent for him (~a decade ago) I compulsively checked it analyzed everything. We moved away from each other approximately a year or so after my limerence started to fade. The first year apart there was a little bit of messaging etc. At this point there is none of that. I still check his profile, but very rarely, maybe every year or two. I am still curious and still feel affection, in a way similar to any ex boyfriend.
You know, I realized after my all-or-none bravado post that I am still connected on SM with the LO who drove me to this forum! So feeling a bit of the hypocrite here. :)

IDK, there is probably no right or wrong to any of this...just whatever you can handle. For me, it will be impossible with the current (immediate past) LO. He posts like 10 times a day for his harem of sycophants.

But the old LO is an aberration. He tends to contact me when he's drunk (way to make a girl feel special), and honestly was limerent for me for a long time before he got up the nerve to make contact. Our last interaction a few months ago was over-friendly and flirty in text messages, and it scared me. How easy it is to slip back into those behaviors.

I swear, limerence is like living inside some big mirror ball!! Everyone with the same damn issues, just manifesting in different forms. Frozen in suspended adolescence, and SM just dumps gas on that fire.
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selkie354
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Re: Social Media NC - LO's SO

Post by selkie354 »

Cookie, Haha I can relate - easy to know what we *should* do - actually doing it a different matter.

Also depends a lot of the type of SM user LO is. #1 doesn't post much, also helps he's across the country. If he was nearby he'd be a much bigger worry. But if he wanted to rekindle the flame, he sure could XD Fortunately for my sanity, he hasn't tried.
AMA210
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Re: Social Media NC - LO's SO

Post by AMA210 »

It's been ok for me with the block off.
Having the attitude of not caring about it is helping.
There are better and more constructive things that I can do besides that.
:D
Never give up! Keep moving forward, no matter what.
mamasita
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Re: Social Media NC - LO's SO

Post by mamasita »

Cookie wrote: Sun Mar 07, 2021 4:46 pm How easy it is to slip back into those behaviors.

I swear, limerence is like living inside some big mirror ball!! Everyone with the same damn issues, just manifesting in different forms. Frozen in suspended adolescence, and SM just dumps gas on that fire.
I agree, and I like how you put that!
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