Depressed after NC

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gargantua65
Posts: 18
Joined: Fri Mar 05, 2021 4:46 pm
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Spain

Depressed after NC

Post by gargantua65 »

Hi
This is my 5 day no contact after my lo blocked me from everywhere. I kind of pushed him to do so as I could not do it myself for months where he was giving hope and breadcrumbing to the point I stalked him with fake profiles, calls in the night, manipulation etc. I feel depressed though today, mix of how I behaved, the harm I did to him and the fantasy that it could have worked.. Is this nornal, does it go away?
selkie354
Posts: 155
Joined: Fri Jan 22, 2021 5:17 pm
Canada

Re: Depressed after NC

Post by selkie354 »

Hi Gargantua

Feeling depressed after NC is pretty normal I think. I found that after a few days things faded to dullness and boredom, which was easier. Everyone may be different. But most struggle at first. You basically lost your biggest source of pleasure if that makes sense. It takes a while before other things can start to replace those feelings.
IvB
Posts: 279
Joined: Thu Nov 12, 2020 8:30 pm
Czech Republic

Re: Depressed after NC

Post by IvB »

Hi Gargantua,
Yes, it's normal. The mood swings during limerence are horrible and in NC it continues for a while. Give it time, I promise that at some point a relief will come and you will start feeling better. Then worse again, better again...but slowly the depression will get less bad and, as Selkie mentions, you will probably get quite emotionless and dull, without a lot of interest in anything. That's where I am right now and I am sure soon come some positive emotions again. Keep going, it does get easier.
selkie354
Posts: 155
Joined: Fri Jan 22, 2021 5:17 pm
Canada

Re: Depressed after NC

Post by selkie354 »

ah yes that site is so very helpful. I bought the e-book from DrL and I found it was well worth it. Only a few dollars, I liked having and organized/structured guide. The blog is great too. Keep reading, the knowledge is very helpful, and it provides a good distraction when you are feelig really low.
Aysheal
Posts: 37
Joined: Mon Feb 22, 2021 12:05 am
Location: Paris
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Age: 46
France

Re: Depressed after NC

Post by Aysheal »

gargantua65 wrote: Sun Mar 07, 2021 7:55 pm ... Here you can order the free daily course as well as other resources
selkie354 wrote: Sun Mar 07, 2021 8:48 pm ah yes that site is so very helpful. I bought the e-book from DrL and I found it was well worth it.
Thank you very much! I can’t get the free ebook on my mobile (it doesn’t work), I’ll do it on my computer. After I read it, I’ll buy the book. It’s very nice of you gargantua and selkie to share this information with us.
I’ve been L several times. It didn’t last long bc I got all flustered in front of my LO: it was so unpleasant I quickly got over it. This time, my LO is an actor, I’ve no chance to be in contact with him and the LE has been going on for almost 2 years.
selkie354
Posts: 155
Joined: Fri Jan 22, 2021 5:17 pm
Canada

Re: Depressed after NC

Post by selkie354 »

Hope it is helpful to you Aysheal. I like to plug the site and book bc it helped me so much - it's a great resource, there is still such a lack of good information on this. This forum is really great too! I actually found a different site/ebook first - it was alright but when I found the living with limerence site and book all the sudden years of my life suddenly made sense to me.
townshend
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Joined: Fri Feb 10, 2017 2:19 am
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Age: 27
United States of America

Re: Depressed after NC

Post by townshend »

A couple years into LE I went 17 excruciating days of NC as our vacations were back to back. I’d already spent a couple years dreading a day or two, god forbid three, when our schedules wouldn’t coincide.

I’m now 15 months NC. It gets easier and better and it does go away but not all at once. Stay at it!
No good has ever come from feeling guilty neither intelligence, policy, nor compassion. The guilty do not pay attention to the object but only to themselves and not even to their own interests, which might make sense, but to their anxieties. -Paul Goodman
gargantua65
Posts: 18
Joined: Fri Mar 05, 2021 4:46 pm
Gender:
Spain

Re: Depressed after NC

Post by gargantua65 »

Good work!! Its been 3 weeks for me and the wors is over :) Still catching myself with intrusive thougts and checking yup his name but working hard to love myself first .
Thanks for the support!
lin_kalinska
Posts: 5
Joined: Sun Apr 04, 2021 5:04 pm
Gender:
Slovakia

Re: Depressed after NC

Post by lin_kalinska »

It s almost a half year of NC, still depressed and distracted, procrastinating, dismissing other relationships.
I feel better after searching for and learning about attachment and childhood trauma related to limerence, but... you know, it s still hurts, still miss him.
F late 30s, in open relationship
LO M probably around 40, married, coworker in diff country
Met him once, so... :-??
NC since 11/2020, broke it twice
marko
Posts: 1748
Joined: Sun Feb 26, 2017 4:20 pm
United States of America

Re: Depressed after NC

Post by marko »

You filled a void with this, and a return to what you were escaping is tough. You go back to what you were, but now you also miss the buzz. It helps when you see it for what it was. Addressing self, and why also doesn't help, but yet it does. I'm not nearly what I thought I was, in fact I'm worse. Just becasue I'm not tormented with her, doesn't mean I feel good about what I know.
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