Self-Improvement -- Could It Ever Be Enough?

[Transparent]

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[selkie354]

Dude you gotta just go for it. She clearly has at least has some interest and you are single. Don't fight your inner nerd, clearly it is working for you and bringing you success and it doesn't seem to be a turn off for her. Nothing worse that someone who is pretending to be a cool guy past 18, just embrace who you are. Don't get a neck tattoo, just ask her out.

-A straight woman

[Transparent]

Dude you gotta just go for it. She clearly has at least has some interest and you are single. Don't fight your inner nerd, clearly it is working for you and bringing you success and it doesn't seem to be a turn off for her. Nothing worse that someone who is pretending to be a cool guy past 18, just embrace who you are. Don't get a neck tattoo, just ask her out.

-A straight woman

Thank you <3 I will!

[selkie354]

Good luck! It's not easy to put yourself out there and be vulnerable, but as they say nothing worthwhile is easy. You gotta take the chance while you have it. Hope it goes well!

[David]

Transparent, welcome and good to see you taking the plunge here and telling your story.

I cant speak for the question you pose to women here, however I can write about your question, can we ever grow enough? My first thought is whats enough? And then it takes me back to a question a journalist asked me 20 years ago - Am I successful?

At that time I thought I was. I had a thriving crisis management business with offices in London and San Francisco , I travelled the world, had a big house, wife and 2 kids, nice cars and longhaul overseas holidays. However that question has always stayed with me. What was my own version of success?

Cracks in my veneer of ego driven success first appeared when I became severely traumatised 25 years ago when working at a mass fatality event for a client. That was the catalyst for me to first start looking inwards at who I was and how did I get to be here? I did this work through NLP, hypnotherapy, coaching and then eventually gravitated to entering into psychotherapy for a period of significant time.

Through that work plus a few other things along the way, including getting limerence, I learned that my present was informed by my past and that I also carried the trauma of my ancestors and it was only by addressing these early life wounds that I was ever going to "be enough" for myself.

For me and the clients I work with, its about getting to place where we feel in ourselves that we are good enough. I believe many of us grow up believing we are not good enough often just through emotional benign neglect from parents that are too busy or preoccupied in getting through life themselves. Sometimes the neglect is more overt as was in my case.

I love personal growth, Im so fortunate in the work I do as my clients teach me along the way and whilst I now feel good enough, I am naturally curious and enjoy the intellectual and emotional stimulation that my personal growth work covers. I also feel I have a responsibility to my clients to keep growing.

That said, nearly every person would benefit from some deeper introspective work to better understand themselves and to reconnect to their deeper feelings. Its a bit like trying to work out what computer operating system we are running. This awareness can lead to more inner calm and self love. This helps with seeking this love less from external sources, especially from our LO's