Jealousy

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Alice
Posts: 22
Joined: Tue May 18, 2021 9:46 am
Great Britain

Jealousy

Post by Alice »

Hi guys,

So LO has gone on holiday with his gf today and it’s hit me hard. I keep picturing them having a perfect time and wishing it was me there with him instead.
I 100% know that can never happen, he’s 10 years younger than me, I have a SO who I have a brilliant marriage with and the feelings are not reciprocated with LO. But it HURTS.

I’m still reliving the kiss we had about 6 weeks ago… he’s on holiday not thinking of me at all.
Why her and not me, what does she have that I don’t? Rationally it’s obvious, she’s 27 and can give him a future. I’m 40 and married with a child, mortgage and stretch marks.

But it absolutely HURTS. 🙁
JupiterTaco
Posts: 4928
Joined: Sun Jun 28, 2015 6:12 pm
United States of America

Re: Jealousy

Post by JupiterTaco »

How many times can you look back and acknowledge that experience and dynamic with other people?
"He got down on one knee and he said, Tonya, would you not marry me? Because I love you too much to make you unhappy. I know what's in your heart. Be true to yourself, Tonya. Follow your heart," Tonya, The L Word
Alice
Posts: 22
Joined: Tue May 18, 2021 9:46 am
Great Britain

Re: Jealousy

Post by Alice »

JupiterTaco wrote: Sun Jul 04, 2021 9:59 pm How many times can you look back and acknowledge that experience and dynamic with other people?
Yes lots. My LO is my sports coach and my last LO was my previous one…..

The comparisons with others runs deep too, I was insecure in the beginning of my relationship with SO about how I compared to his exes.
JupiterTaco
Posts: 4928
Joined: Sun Jun 28, 2015 6:12 pm
United States of America

Re: Jealousy

Post by JupiterTaco »

That would do it. What about your parents?
"He got down on one knee and he said, Tonya, would you not marry me? Because I love you too much to make you unhappy. I know what's in your heart. Be true to yourself, Tonya. Follow your heart," Tonya, The L Word
Alice
Posts: 22
Joined: Tue May 18, 2021 9:46 am
Great Britain

Re: Jealousy

Post by Alice »

JupiterTaco wrote: Sun Jul 04, 2021 10:54 pm That would do it. What about your parents?
I’m an only child with a need to feel “special “.

Oh god I’m a cliche!
peter.rabbit
Posts: 444
Joined: Wed Jul 24, 2019 12:27 am
United States of America

Re: Jealousy

Post by peter.rabbit »

Alice wrote: Sun Jul 04, 2021 6:47 pm I’m still reliving the kiss we had about 6 weeks ago…
Oh my, if I shared a kiss with my LO I wouldn't be able to walk-talk-eat-sleep and would need a round the clock caregiver!
Weak people revenge.
Strong people forgive.
Intelligent people ignore.
-Albert Einstein
L-F
Posts: 3686
Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2017 9:55 am
United States of America

Re: Jealousy

Post by L-F »

Sorry you are hurting Alice. That's a painful situation to be in.
Limerence is an addiction to romance based on insecurity. LF
Alice
Posts: 22
Joined: Tue May 18, 2021 9:46 am
Great Britain

Re: Jealousy

Post by Alice »

peter.rabbit wrote: Sun Jul 04, 2021 11:53 pm
Alice wrote: Sun Jul 04, 2021 6:47 pm I’m still reliving the kiss we had about 6 weeks ago…
Oh my, if I shared a kiss with my LO I wouldn't be able to walk-talk-eat-sleep and would need a round the clock caregiver!
Yes we were both very drunk and agreed to put it behind us, but obviously that’s easier for him than me!
The insecure / anxious attachment style I have with him is bad enough as “friends”, if we were in a relationship I’d be an absolute mess! He’s naturally very flirty and owns the gym I go to, I don’t know how the gf isn’t an anxious mess but she’s clearly a lot more secure than I am! Or naive……
Alice
Posts: 22
Joined: Tue May 18, 2021 9:46 am
Great Britain

Re: Jealousy

Post by Alice »

Ah so LOs gf has just posted a picture of them on Instagram looking happy and gorgeous, and it’s broken my heart 💔

I’ve muted her but I can’t unsee it. He’s already text me from his hol and it’s only day 1.
Red wine it is then.
peter.rabbit
Posts: 444
Joined: Wed Jul 24, 2019 12:27 am
United States of America

Re: Jealousy

Post by peter.rabbit »

Alice wrote: Mon Jul 05, 2021 8:29 am
peter.rabbit wrote: Sun Jul 04, 2021 11:53 pm
Alice wrote: Sun Jul 04, 2021 6:47 pm I’m still reliving the kiss we had about 6 weeks ago…
Oh my, if I shared a kiss with my LO I wouldn't be able to walk-talk-eat-sleep and would need a round the clock caregiver!
Yes we were both very drunk and agreed to put it behind us, but obviously that’s easier for him than me!
The insecure / anxious attachment style I have with him is bad enough as “friends”, if we were in a relationship I’d be an absolute mess! He’s naturally very flirty and owns the gym I go to, I don’t know how the gf isn’t an anxious mess but she’s clearly a lot more secure than I am! Or naive……
Years ago I did that with an LO, which became the start of an affair....long, painful story<sigh>
Weak people revenge.
Strong people forgive.
Intelligent people ignore.
-Albert Einstein
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