Limerence is the ultimate wake up call, imo.

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L-F
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Limerence is the ultimate wake up call, imo.

Post by L-F »

Limerence is the ultimate wake up call, imo.

A quick update.
My father passed away and I was extremely thankful for making amends and spending quality time with him prior to him leaving this planet. If it wasn't for limerence I wouldn't have reached that point.

So strange to think that's the path limerence took me on.
But at the end of the day, limerence is about us and our dysfunctional ways of being. Having the time to unpack the why and how of it all lead me to finger pointing - my parents! My upbringing!

The wokeness led me to forgive them. Make peace with my upbringing.

Something about the relationship with our parents is a difficult pill to swallow. It requires the utmost spiritual vigor to not repeat the trauma they have been unable to transmute themselves.

Peace x
Limerence is an addiction to romance based on insecurity. LF
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David
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Re: Limerence is the ultimate wake up call, imo.

Post by David »

Sorry to read about your father,

I was going to post something along similar lines, something about limerence being an invitation to grow if we choose to accept the offer.

Go well on your future travels
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L-F
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Re: Limerence is the ultimate wake up call, imo.

Post by L-F »

Thanks David. Have you reached a good place with your father?

I'm unbelievably thankful I got to spend time with him the way he was; and not the way I wanted him. It took me a long time to realize and appreciate the difference.

I couldn't be more proud of myself.
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David
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Re: Limerence is the ultimate wake up call, imo.

Post by David »

L-F wrote: Mon Nov 29, 2021 10:04 am Thanks David. Have you reached a good place with your father?
Ive come to a place of acceptance and he no longer triggers me. Its as good as it can be given my father's wounding.

thanks for asking
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Re: Limerence is the ultimate wake up call, imo.

Post by Significant other »

L-F, have you been able by yourself, without help, to go through all those "ghosts"? And if you have gone to therapy, what type has it been? I find the degree of self-awareness that you have reached impressive, very good! You have worked hard.
L-F
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Re: Limerence is the ultimate wake up call, imo.

Post by L-F »

Significant other wrote: Thu Dec 02, 2021 11:06 pm L-F, have you been able by yourself, without help, to go through all those "ghosts"? And if you have gone to therapy, what type has it been? I find the degree of self-awareness that you have reached impressive, very good! You have worked hard.
Hey thanks for asking SO!
I have worked extremely hard although I have not been helped by any therapist. None.
The only help I have received is on these forums combined with my own research.
Everyone's story has weaved a thread through my own story. Shone a bit of light. And.
I've seen differences too.

But most of all, I've seen my own (at least some of them)... shadows - aka narc traits. Every time someone went head to head with me on here, I got to see a little bit of myself in them reflected back.

In short, had it not been for this forum, had it not been for all those who fought with me, had it not been for everyone's else's story that I could connect with, I wouldn't have reached where I am at.

Don't underestimate this forum. I believe through others we see ourselves.

Hey I love reading your threads! You have such great insight in to Freudian theories. I enjoy reading about neurosis, and I agree.
Limerence is an addiction to romance based on insecurity. LF
theorina38
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Re: Limerence is the ultimate wake up call, imo.

Post by theorina38 »

It is! On one level it's a mistake. On another level, it's meant to be because it forces us to re-examine everything.

In my opinion, the sole purpose of limerence is to help us soulfully mature. This is no small feat, it requires a whole lot of growth, healing and deeper levels of understanding. Forgiveness comes with understanding.


I'm truly sorry to hear about your father.

Blessings.
"Trauma creates change you don't choose.
Healing creates changes you do choose."
– Michelle Rosenthal
L-F
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Re: Limerence is the ultimate wake up call, imo.

Post by L-F »

theorina38 wrote: Wed Jan 12, 2022 7:28 pm It is! On one level it's a mistake. On another level, it's meant to be because it forces us to re-examine everything.

In my opinion, the sole purpose of limerence is to help us soulfully mature. This is no small feat, it requires a whole lot of growth, healing and deeper levels of understanding. Forgiveness comes with understanding.


I'm truly sorry to hear about your father.

Blessings.
Thank you theorina.
I couldn't agree more with your thoughts.
Love this > "Forgiveness comes with understanding"

We lost another parent yesterday. MIL.
It's been an incredibly challenging few months. With regards to limerence, not a single thought of LO as if they could, or even would, provide comfort. That kind of comfort is part of the illusion. It takes real courage to just be yourself. I hope more people can find a way to do that and embrace a genuine honest existence.  At this stage in my life I need reality. Even when it is painful, or boring , I need it to be the truth.
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David
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Re: Limerence is the ultimate wake up call, imo.

Post by David »

L-F wrote: Wed Jan 12, 2022 10:43 pm It takes real courage to just be yourself.
Sorry about the loss. My MiL passed 2 weeks ago.

Your quote is so profound and true.
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L-F
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Re: Limerence is the ultimate wake up call, imo.

Post by L-F »

David wrote: Fri Jan 14, 2022 10:04 am
L-F wrote: Wed Jan 12, 2022 10:43 pm It takes real courage to just be yourself.
Sorry about the loss. My MiL passed 2 weeks ago.
TY David. Just as you were losing yours, we were losing ours. She had stopped eating and drinking by then and it was a matter of waiting it out. Glad both our MiL are no longer ill.
Limerence is an addiction to romance based on insecurity. LF
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