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Celebrity limerence

A place for those new to this site. The more experienced users of this site tend to frequent the members only section more.
Zsababy
Posts: 543
Joined: Fri Jan 07, 2022 8:15 am
United States of America

Re: Celebrity limerence

Post by Zsababy »

To L-F: I am aware of ups & downs mostly as I'm 56 & have dealt with bipolar for many years. But you can go in and out. I was getting dangerously close to humiliating myself in December by thinking of sending him my picture & saying "if you're ever in SF, I'd love to show you around". Thankfully, you can't direct message someone on Twitter unless they follow you, so fate intervened. I would kind of know it was a bad idea but impulse control is a problem & low level mania can be hard to detect. And a couple of people encouraged me so my delusions were buttressed. But I am by no means famous musician material even though he's overweight, older & can look quite homely at times (which is why I could delude myself that I could even have a one-nighter with him).

But I often remind myself that famous guitarists (he's not huge but very well-known in England & has had couple of hits in the 80s) can get models & actresses and aren't going to bother with a middle aged grocery clerk!!! At first when I came down, it hurt to come down to reality. It was like a break up. I deactivated my Twitter account & deleted his photos. But I've backslided & reactivated Twitter & have a couple of photos on my phone. I just frequently remind myself that fantasies are nice but there is zero chance. I also increased my mood stabilizer med to come down a bit & control the hypersexuality. I also had a few friends I could talk to about it & get reality checks.

I also learned a simple technique for daydreaming: just say the word "fantasy" to yourself when you find yourself daydreaming too much. Just labelling it & making yourself aware of it brings you back to earth abit.
Zsababy
Posts: 543
Joined: Fri Jan 07, 2022 8:15 am
United States of America

Re: Celebrity limerence

Post by Zsababy »

L-F wrote: Mon Feb 14, 2022 10:24 am
Zsababy wrote: Mon Feb 14, 2022 8:58 am Sorry to make it about me 😂 but I thought L-Fs comment was for both of us
It's all good :) anyone can answer. It must be difficult trying to find that middle ground. If you don't mind sharing, are you aware of when you're up, and when you are down? And are there strategies for managing these times? Basically, I'm curious to know if reflective self-talk helps. Of course you don't have to answer. limerence on top of these highs and lows must make things more difficult to navigate.
See answer above...im new at this & didn't know how to quote
Zsababy
Posts: 543
Joined: Fri Jan 07, 2022 8:15 am
United States of America

Re: Celebrity limerence

Post by Zsababy »

Significant other wrote: Mon Feb 14, 2022 9:56 am OCDLimerent: If there is no interaction with her, I don't think we can speak of authentic Limerence, as a "toxic" type of relationship. How do you get that dopamine rush, and those lows, if you don't receive the slightest signal, real or imagined, of reciprocity? ? It's just a fantasy, an escape, an obsession... If you know it's impossible... Why do you let yourself go? What do you lack? What do you want? What scares you? You talk about its youth, beauty, brightness, versatility, etc...
I would say that it's limerance because it involves intrusive thoughts about someone who will have no interest in you. For me, being bipolar, I can slip into delusion that I could go out with them, but that's a different situation.

She's talking about unrelenting, intrusive & obsessive thoughts which are definitely problematic ( I have the same thing) and therefore can cause pain. It goes beyond just casual sexual or romantic fantasies about an exceptionally attractive and charismatic celebrity.
L-F
Posts: 4500
Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2017 9:55 am
United States of America

Re: Celebrity limerence

Post by L-F »

Zsababy wrote: Tue Feb 15, 2022 3:07 am I also learned a simple technique for daydreaming: just say the word "fantasy" to yourself when you find yourself daydreaming too much. Just labelling it & making yourself aware of it brings you back to earth abit.
Sounds like a great technique. I asked about awareness because it sounds like you have tons of it. My mother on the other hand, does stuff and then wonders why. Every few years her behavior becomes bothersome to her so she puts herself in time out, chooses to be reclusive "for her own good" as she puts it.

You sound like an awesome person to chat to about what its like being bipolar. I'm a firm believer that we need not be ashamed of ourselves no matter what label we wear, illness we have, etc.

I'm getting to the age I literally don't care if people like me or they don't, and with this outlook comes freedom to accept myself for who I really am. Whatever label people want to give me, I'm down with that.

Anyway, not sure why I'm rambling.
Limerence sucks. That is all.
"And in the end, we were all just humans…Drunk on the idea that love, only love, could heal our brokenness." ~ F. Scott Fitzgerald
Zsababy
Posts: 543
Joined: Fri Jan 07, 2022 8:15 am
United States of America

Re: Celebrity limerence

Post by Zsababy »

Nah, you're not rambling. Thanks for your comments. I think I post on here about three times as much as anybody else.

Awareness comes from constant monitoring of mental illness, and sometimes a crippling amount of second-guessing yourself.

But I'm just employing the technique of writing down reality checks like "he's just nice to fans; doesn't mean anything. He's just nice & that's it". Constant reminders ate helping because I'm not ready to go no contact (lol I almost wrote "full contact"! Big time Freudian slip!)
JupiterTaco
Posts: 5666
Joined: Sun Jun 28, 2015 6:12 pm
United States of America

Re: Celebrity limerence

Post by JupiterTaco »

I've had a few celebrity LOs, mostly less-known celebrities, at least once in transference of a limerence but I think the reason they didn't stick was the lack of real hope.
"You know for a big black guy Cleveland's got a cute little white ass!" Peter, Family Guy
"Um...that wasn't Cleveland," Brian
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