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Awareness of Potential Limerence

A place for those new to this site. The more experienced users of this site tend to frequent the members only section more.
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AMA210
Posts: 2385
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2016 2:17 pm
Location: Midwest
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United States of America

Awareness of Potential Limerence

Post by AMA210 »

Hi all.
I'd like to share a recent experience of a potential limerence situation. My previous experiences and recognition of those initial behaviors that are a pre-cursor to full blown limerence is key to its prevention.

For the past two years, I have done my grocery order online at Walmart and then have it delivered to my car at a time that I specify. This was super convenient for me, especially during the pandemic. Although, since my orders were typically done on a Sunday, I inadvertently got into the habit of driving by the school after picking up my order because I considered it to be a "free pass", as it was more likely that LO wouldn't be there. During the week, I purposely stayed away from the school and the area.

There was an employee who routinely brought out my order, and he was a personable and friendly guy. I left with a good feeling and this began to break up the pattern of driving by the school afterwards.

On every Sunday in May, LO was in that damn parking lot, usually sitting in his SUV. I couldn't figure this out because he technically shouldn't have been there, but I knew that this day had now been compromised, and this pattern had to be broken.

Some of the early limerent behaviors that I began doing were putting on makeup before I left to get my order and rehearsing what I would say to the really nice dude. This went on for about two weeks until I suddenly realized what was happening. I knew that it had to stop, so I decided that June 5th would be my last order. I also decided that I would talk to him about energetic frequencies and resonance, as a way to prevent me from going back.

Well, I did talk to him about energy and he was really confused and didn't know what to say about it, so he just loaded up the items and left and I haven't gone back, and don't plan to.

This experience was a win-win for me because I stopped the potential for another LE and ended the pattern of driving by the school.
From this, I don't think I will ever be cured of limerence, and perhaps just as with any other addiction, it truly doesn't go away, but becomes dormant.
Although, being aware of this is very important, and because I have come to know myself a hell of a lot better through the previous LE, I now know how to prevent this.

Thanks for reading.
Never give up! Keep moving forward, no matter what.
L-F
Posts: 4500
Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2017 9:55 am
United States of America

Re: Awareness of Potential Limerence

Post by L-F »

Hi AMA!
Good to see you back. Sorry to read you've found a personality trait to be forever limerent (in one form or another, i.e. either dormant or active).
AMA210 wrote: Sat Jul 02, 2022 11:53 am I also decided that I would talk to him about energetic frequencies and resonance, as a way to prevent me from going back.
Please don't do that. Dumping your problems on to someone innocent and leaving them to process it. I call it passing the buck. Please don't take it as me telling you off, I'm simply pointing out old behaviours I have indulged in, and it's not nice behaviour. I'm sure it left him thinking he met a lady who is nuts. I know you're not nuts and have a kind soul, so maybe spare another soul your pain and dump it here? Hey look, nothing major was done and I'm sure he brushed it off, but still, telling someone what you are struggling with in the hopes of helping yourself and with no consideration to how he felt, is not helping them. It's self-serving behaviour. And we all know narcissists involve themselves in nothing BUT self-serving behaviour. And you're not a narcissist. You are kind-hearted.
Sharing here is like sharing with a friend who understands and isn't concerned about being dumped on. But someone innocent, it's probably not the best thing to do since they wouldn't have any inkling what you're talking about. Remember, that energy you felt was yours, not his. Who knows how he felt, he was probably doing something that he does day in and day out.

But you know what! So good to read that your awareness has increased to the point you can sense (and catch) those small changes in behaviour.
"And in the end, we were all just humans…Drunk on the idea that love, only love, could heal our brokenness." ~ F. Scott Fitzgerald
AMA210
Posts: 2385
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2016 2:17 pm
Location: Midwest
Gender:
United States of America

Re: Awareness of Potential Limerence

Post by AMA210 »

Wow - thanks LF for pointing this out. I literally had no thought that I had done this. In fact, I had not even considered how he might have reacted or processed it afterwards.
I was more concerned with finding a way that would prevent me from going back there, and this was it.

Do you have a suggestion on how I could have handled this better without directly involving someone else?
I would appreciate it.
:ymhug:
Never give up! Keep moving forward, no matter what.
L-F
Posts: 4500
Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2017 9:55 am
United States of America

Re: Awareness of Potential Limerence

Post by L-F »

Journaling in private or sharing here. Perhaps in future be mindful of the possible consequences of your reactions and write about them before reacting? It might help?
The biggest hurdle is acknowledging these changes within which you mentioned you did in your original post. Good work! :-bd
"And in the end, we were all just humans…Drunk on the idea that love, only love, could heal our brokenness." ~ F. Scott Fitzgerald
AMA210
Posts: 2385
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2016 2:17 pm
Location: Midwest
Gender:
United States of America

Re: Awareness of Potential Limerence

Post by AMA210 »

Thank you kindly, LF. :ymhug:
I will work with it more diligently, now that it has been brought into my awareness.
Never give up! Keep moving forward, no matter what.
IvB
Posts: 280
Joined: Thu Nov 12, 2020 8:30 pm
Czech Republic

Re: Awareness of Potential Limerence

Post by IvB »

I too am aware of potential limerence. I changed jobs and one of my colleagues (who is also my coach/mentor) is a pain in the ass, really annoying person and yet I can't stop thinking of him, trying to figure out why he is so unpleasant to everyone, trying to work as well as possible to gain his approval (external validation, there we go again), hoping that he will soften. Not the same as my previous, almost finished limerence but I am not happy with myself! Definitely hope he finds a new job soon (which he is attempting). Forever a limerent, I am, enjoying being tortured mentally, I guess. As if normal life was not interesting, not challenging enough!
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