Situation escalating, finally taking action

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peter.rabbit
Posts: 444
Joined: Wed Jul 24, 2019 12:27 am
United States of America

Situation escalating, finally taking action

Post by peter.rabbit »

The last several weeks I've been having regular contact with my LO, and of course an elevated flood of the usual limerent feelings. Monday I went to her home for the first time, she showed me the facilities of the dog rescue she runs. We walked together closely around her property, then sat and chatted in a travel trailer, to cool off and have some water. As you might suspect, I was in absolute "seventh heaven". However, as this LE increases I'm becoming genuinely concerned about becoming absorbed in a delusion that is soaring out of control.

Today I did call my health care provider, talked to the appointment desk person and made a video appointment for July 15th. I would have preferred an in-person / office visit, but considering the pandemic constraints it's as good as it gets. My goal: stopping the endless thoughts. If I have to I'll go on some SSRI for a while, but I hate the thought of the weight gain and disembodied zombie feeling. CBT training would be super, just telling another human being about all this face-to-face would be a most welcome first step.

I forget if I mentioned this before, but what's ironic: one of my business partners who is a dear friend is just finishing up her masters degree in clinical psychology. You might think that she would be a perfect candidate to reveal this dark secret to, but here's the drawback: she is also good friends with my LO. I'm thinking this situation might not be ideal.... :-?
Weak people revenge.
Strong people forgive.
Intelligent people ignore.
-Albert Einstein
L-F
Posts: 3686
Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2017 9:55 am
United States of America

Re: Situation escalating, finally taking action

Post by L-F »

How you feel is the price you pay for keeping the friendship. It's up to you how much you want to put yourself through.

Personally, I'd choose NC over drugs. Just not keen messing with my brain chemistry all for the sake of keeping one friendship alive.

All the best with whatever you choose to do!
Limerence is an addiction to romance based on insecurity. LF
peter.rabbit
Posts: 444
Joined: Wed Jul 24, 2019 12:27 am
United States of America

Re: Situation escalating, finally taking action

Post by peter.rabbit »

I know that NC is generally the "silver bullet" to ward off Limerence. If this LE involved a stranger or casual acquaintance NC would be my first choice. I'll be looking forward to my appointment with the LCSW, which will be a video chat...however that works.
Weak people revenge.
Strong people forgive.
Intelligent people ignore.
-Albert Einstein
L-F
Posts: 3686
Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2017 9:55 am
United States of America

Re: Situation escalating, finally taking action

Post by L-F »

Good on you Peter! Let us know how it works out for you.

You may break all the rules by discovering you can indeed overcome limerence while LO is standing beside you. I hope so! It might be the tougher longer path to freedom but I guess it's worth a try? Obviously LO's friendship means a lot to you.

I'm too flakey. I'd rather ditch the LO to save my sanity.
Or find another LO =))
Joking!

All the best with your upcoming video chat!
Limerence is an addiction to romance based on insecurity. LF
peter.rabbit
Posts: 444
Joined: Wed Jul 24, 2019 12:27 am
United States of America

Re: Situation escalating, finally taking action

Post by peter.rabbit »

@L-F, Yes, my LO means a lot to me, she is an integral part of my social circle, and she does good things running her non-profit, which we support.

I've been on SSRIs before once, it was a "situational depression" I was in. Not fun, but it definitely helped me keep an even keel. I took Celexa (citalopram) for maybe a couple months full dosage. It helped! But I experienced a lot of lethargy, felt "flat" emotionally- of course that's what it's supposed to do.
Anyway, I cut myself down to 1/2 dosage for a month or 2, then weaned off it in the prescribed manner. I gained 15 lb.s, ugh! But, the situation I was depressed about(repressed anger) which was step-son's drug addiction and related behavior was resolved. His fiancé threatened to leave him, we "advised" him that our renting out a house to him had to be sustainable, meaning he gotta PAY the rent. He agreed to straighten up, went to rehab(briefly) but did kick the meth habit.

I'm not going to request any AD meds, but may consider if the mental health people recommend it. My goal is to get CBT training, to lessen or eliminate the intrusive thoughts and break away from the soul-consuming fantasies and...yes, delusional thinking.
Weak people revenge.
Strong people forgive.
Intelligent people ignore.
-Albert Einstein
IvB
Posts: 279
Joined: Thu Nov 12, 2020 8:30 pm
Czech Republic

Re: Situation escalating, finally taking action

Post by IvB »

Good luck Peter. And - though unrelated - really glad to hear the happy end of your stepson's story!
JupiterTaco
Posts: 4928
Joined: Sun Jun 28, 2015 6:12 pm
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Re: Situation escalating, finally taking action

Post by JupiterTaco »

it sounds like a plan Peter.rabbit! Good luck to you!
"He got down on one knee and he said, Tonya, would you not marry me? Because I love you too much to make you unhappy. I know what's in your heart. Be true to yourself, Tonya. Follow your heart," Tonya, The L Word
peter.rabbit
Posts: 444
Joined: Wed Jul 24, 2019 12:27 am
United States of America

Re: Situation escalating, finally taking action

Post by peter.rabbit »

IvB wrote: Sun Jul 04, 2021 12:56 pm Good luck Peter. And - though unrelated - really glad to hear the happy end of your stepson's story!
We feel so blessed, I know from working in jails & prison that Meth use can destroy all the decency a person has in their soul, and replace it with self serving evil. My own son also had a bout of meth use, was facing prison but thankfully went to in-house rehab, straightened up, and just recently took the "baby bar" exam for law school.
JupiterTaco wrote: Sun Jul 04, 2021 2:42 pm it sounds like a plan Peter.rabbit! Good luck to you!
Thank you!
Weak people revenge.
Strong people forgive.
Intelligent people ignore.
-Albert Einstein
L-F
Posts: 3686
Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2017 9:55 am
United States of America

Re: Situation escalating, finally taking action

Post by L-F »

How are things with your LO Peter? The last I heard her husband is/was terminally ill. Have you remained friends? Do you still feel limerent?
Limerence is an addiction to romance based on insecurity. LF
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