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Coping with rejection

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L-F
Posts: 4500
Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2017 9:55 am
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Re: Coping with rejection

Post by L-F »

townshend wrote: Tue Aug 16, 2022 6:28 pm
Update:
He responded yesterday in the way that I would expect him to back when I worked with him. All okay. He wants us to talk during the event next month to clear everything up.
That's awesome T! I'm assuming you're no longer limerent and just missed his friendship. Understandable. At least now you'll get the answers you were wanting. All the best.
"And in the end, we were all just humans…Drunk on the idea that love, only love, could heal our brokenness." ~ F. Scott Fitzgerald
David
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Re: Coping with rejection

Post by David »

L-F wrote: Sun Aug 14, 2022 2:59 pm
I have to admit, I still struggle with the 'no response' reaction, but, I have to keep it real. A 'no response' reaction sends a loud and clear message of its own. To me, in simplistic terms, it means "leave me alone".
Agree with the other poster's- our limerence brains manufacture reasons to reconnect - heck even after 12 years I occasionally (when stressed) think ill write a book about my expereince of limerence and contact LO to get her recollections as that would complete the circle and be a unique analysis of limerence from 2 psychotherapists, botht he LE and the LO. It will just get me thinking all over again. Human hope is a curious beast.

As for the no response - i see many people nowadays dont bother responding to emails. Just yesterday I gave a gift to someone who helped me out. No thank you response as of yet. Is he avoidant? Is he rude? Is he busy? Did he not get the gift? There could be many reasons why and I learned a while back, not everyone operates the same way I do, in face very few do, in fact no one does as I am unique, as we all are. No point wasting my energy over these things which would just fuel my anxiety.
Purchase the 24 part video series on overcoming limerence - see https://limerence.thinkific.com/courses/healing-limerence
townshend
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Re: Coping with rejection

Post by townshend »

.
Last edited by townshend on Fri Sep 02, 2022 12:37 am, edited 1 time in total.
No good has ever come from feeling guilty neither intelligence, policy, nor compassion. The guilty do not pay attention to the object but only to themselves and not even to their own interests, which might make sense, but to their anxieties. -Paul Goodman
L-F
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United States of America

Re: Coping with rejection

Post by L-F »

townshend wrote: Tue Aug 30, 2022 4:36 am Of course that is difficult when FB has surely done her part in diminishing my reputation and surely cannot stand anyone else possibly having a similar relationship with M.
Could it be possible that M wants you and FB to fight over him? It can be quite titillating having two women jealous over each others relationship with one person. Just a thought.
"And in the end, we were all just humans…Drunk on the idea that love, only love, could heal our brokenness." ~ F. Scott Fitzgerald
townshend
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Re: Coping with rejection

Post by townshend »

.
Last edited by townshend on Fri Sep 02, 2022 12:37 am, edited 1 time in total.
No good has ever come from feeling guilty neither intelligence, policy, nor compassion. The guilty do not pay attention to the object but only to themselves and not even to their own interests, which might make sense, but to their anxieties. -Paul Goodman
L-F
Posts: 4500
Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2017 9:55 am
United States of America

Re: Coping with rejection

Post by L-F »

Im confused. See below
townshend wrote: Thu Sep 01, 2022 4:14 am I do believe that I am “paying for the sins of my father” in terms of M grouping me with CB since he’s so mad with CB. 
townshend wrote: Thu Sep 01, 2022 4:14 am Then I chose to work for CB, I went and chose the wrong team.
So you chose to leave and find another job right? Or are we talking about a different department working for the same employer? How did M group you with CB?
townshend wrote: Thu Sep 01, 2022 4:14 am He may not think that he’s doing it and I’m sure he is not trying to do it but I think that he is. 
Which is it? Do you think that he is trying to make you jealous, or not?

Do you like where you are working?

You sound like you're a valuable and valued employee, and sounds like you have regrets you left.

What exactly do you want to say to M? You don't have to answer here. Journaling in private might help you see what you are holding onto, your hopes and dreams, etc.

Thank goodness you're no longer limerent! I hope the talk with M goes well.
"And in the end, we were all just humans…Drunk on the idea that love, only love, could heal our brokenness." ~ F. Scott Fitzgerald
L-F
Posts: 4500
Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2017 9:55 am
United States of America

Re: Coping with rejection

Post by L-F »

Hey T! Hope all is going well. I see you've deleted your posts. Let me know if you want me to delete quoted snippets (used so I could reply or ask questions).

How did the meeting go? Assuming you've managed to meet and discuss things.

Whether you have or haven't, hope things are working out for you and you're able to get answers and move on in a healthy way and with relationships intact. Keep in mind, toxic relationships are worth ending (not saying yours is because I'm still confused about a few things - not sure whether he's playing you or whether you're limerent/not limerent).

But hoping you're in a better space. Keep us updated!
"And in the end, we were all just humans…Drunk on the idea that love, only love, could heal our brokenness." ~ F. Scott Fitzgerald
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