Question about jealousy

[yoguisan]

Never heard of woundmates or twin flame before, will take a look at these. One thing is for sure, it did promote change - in my medication dosage and my Spotify top tracks. But in all seriousness, I'm trying to make, maybe not the most, but something out of it. Guess it was truly time to pay more attention to my mental health

[L-F]

Never heard of woundmates or twin flame before, will take a look at these. One thing is for sure, it did promote change - in my medication dosage and my Spotify top tracks. But in all seriousness, I'm trying to make, maybe not the most, but something out of it. Guess it was truly time to pay more attention to my mental health

Researching those things are fine, however, regarding change, perhaps look upon it as thinking, or spending time reflecting upon why you do what you do which results in growth in self-awareness?

[JupiterTaco]

I just wanted to add black magic is on a whole other level from those other two things. Black magic is real and it's not for play play but apparently some people don't realize that.

People use it although I think the people who are more experienced with it may have better results so I don't know. Nigerian criminal gangs gained notoriety for being found to use black magic spells on their trafficking victims.

But on top of all the other types of various forms of abuse they probably heap on them who knows what difference it makes. Also some Cuban guy who grew up in Miami who took part in a gruesome murder in Mexico was found to have been used by cartels to help make their business run smoothly LOL

I forgot about this but I did wonder about the Twin Flame thing with my neighbor situation. I came to the conclusion after a little reading that she was what we talked about on here the wound mate or false twin flame because she brought so much negative out in me and nothing positive. I still don't believe in twin flames or soulmates.

At any rate I think if this guy was going to make some grand re-entry into my life he would have done it by now LOL. I truly thought it might happen not only because of the intensity of everything going on but also because it totally would have been Murphy's Law if it had given the situation I'm in that I don't want to talk about LOL.

[L-F]

I forgot about this but I did wonder about the Twin Flame thing with my neighbor situation. I came to the conclusion after a little reading that she was what we talked about on here the wound mate or false twin flame because she brought so much negative out in me and nothing positive. I still don't believe in twin flames or soulmates.

They are there, much like LOs, to bring one out of the shadows. You decide if that's positive or negative. I think it's growth regardless. I certainly don't think my interactions with LO were positive, nor did they bring out my positive side, but it sure ended positively with growth.

[L-F]

but it sure ended positively with growth.

The entire purpose of TFs

[L-F]

Black magic is scary that's for sure.
Still, can't say someone who doesn't believe in it can be affected though.

[L-F]

Plus I believe anyone dabbling in black magic for selfish reasons gets karmic retribution. What goes around comes around regardless of ethnic beliefs. It's most a universal one.
Idk.
Best to wish people wellness and keep to self.

[HenrySilver]

I had a big issue with jealousy as well. My LO had become extremely close with a mutual male friend/coworker. They would go out to lunch together daily (without inviting anyone else from our group of friends), hang out in each other’s offices all the time, go out for drinks after work, etc. I never wanted to believe they were having an affair because I knew neither were foolish enough to do so. I’m retrospect, they may have had some spurt of limerence for each other as well.

The jealously fuels my LE. It drove me crazy. It caused panic attacks, depression, anxiety, and obsessive behavior. The mutual friend seemed to have what I wanted - an exclusive, “best friendship” with my LO - one that went to the edge of an emotional affair, but never quite became something either of us would feel guilty about.

The jealously caused me to insert myself in their hangouts. For a while, the 3 of us were always together. But that didn’t last. It resulted in profound feelings of rejection that threw my LE out of control. Even the mental image of my LO walking down the hallway with our mutual friend to go to lunch together triggered an intense emotional reaction.

The mutual friend has since moved across the country. This ended up helping my severity of my LE, though certainly not resolving the underlying reasons for my reaction to jealousy. My LO doesn’t hang out with anyone else at work exclusively anymore, so the feelings of rejection have lessened dramatically.

I am not possessive of my SO. In 10 years of marriage, I cannot recall feeling jealousy towards my SO. Though, in the throws of my LE, I became jealous for the first time of my SO having one-on-one happy hours with her former boss/current mentor. I think I thought it was possible for her to be emotionally unfaithful because that’s what I had been doing with my LO. Also, my wife’s mentor bore a striking resemblance to my the mutual friend my LO had become attached to - they were similar in personality, age, and appearance. Reminding myself of these things helps me realize that my jealousy towards my wife and her mentor is unfounded and is just a projection of my own insecurities that likely underlie my limerence.

[yoguisan]

I had a big issue with jealousy as well. My LO had become extremely close with a mutual male friend/coworker. They would go out to lunch together daily (without inviting anyone else from our group of friends), hang out in each other’s offices all the time, go out for drinks after work, etc. I never wanted to believe they were having an affair because I knew neither were foolish enough to do so. I’m retrospect, they may have had some spurt of limerence for each other as well.

The jealously fuels my LE. It drove me crazy. It caused panic attacks, depression, anxiety, and obsessive behavior. The mutual friend seemed to have what I wanted - an exclusive, “best friendship” with my LO - one that went to the edge of an emotional affair, but never quite became something either of us would feel guilty about.

The jealously caused me to insert myself in their hangouts. For a while, the 3 of us were always together. But that didn’t last. It resulted in profound feelings of rejection that threw my LE out of control. Even the mental image of my LO walking down the hallway with our mutual friend to go to lunch together triggered an intense emotional reaction.

The mutual friend has since moved across the country. This ended up helping my severity of my LE, though certainly not resolving the underlying reasons for my reaction to jealousy. My LO doesn’t hang out with anyone else at work exclusively anymore, so the feelings of rejection have lessened dramatically.

I am not possessive of my SO. In 10 years of marriage, I cannot recall feeling jealousy towards my SO. Though, in the throws of my LE, I became jealous for the first time of my SO having one-on-one happy hours with her former boss/current mentor. I think I thought it was possible for her to be emotionally unfaithful because that’s what I had been doing with my LO. Also, my wife’s mentor bore a striking resemblance to my the mutual friend my LO had become attached to - they were similar in personality, age, and appearance. Reminding myself of these things helps me realize that my jealousy towards my wife and her mentor is unfounded and is just a projection of my own insecurities that likely underlie my limerence.

Thanks for sharing this Henry. I do see a lot of this in me as well, I'm glad to know I'm not the only one that this almost drove crazy. Strange in my case however is that I had no contact with LO since we broke up. She did message me about 5 years ago asking for help with her e-mail and a few months later wishing me happy birthday, something she had never done since our relationship was over, but never again. Most "contact" I had with her was seeing her sister posting a photo of her this year in Instagram, but it's been a while now, not sure it was a trigger.

As for insecurities, I'm full of them. To this day I wonder why she broke up with me. Despite the fact many people told me relationships simply end and it's not necessarily one's fault, nothings gets off my mind that I lost her. Though I can imagine lots of reasons, I can't drive away the urge to go ask her. I don't do it because it would be extremely weird after all this time. Not that reaching out to her now wasn't, but I think I extinguished my quota.

My insecurities get me to the point of trying to compare myself with my wife's previous husband (which, bear in mind, I never met, and is actually deceased). It doesn't help much that she never deleted or even hid their photos on social media, not even after I mentioned it. For some time, I went to her home and there was a photo of their wedding hanging on the wall above us. Sure grief takes some time to get over, but for a guy like me, it sure doesn't do any good.

At any rate, I'm glad you could work this out. I need to find a way as well.

[yoguisan]

Never heard of woundmates or twin flame before, will take a look at these. One thing is for sure, it did promote change - in my medication dosage and my Spotify top tracks. But in all seriousness, I'm trying to make, maybe not the most, but something out of it. Guess it was truly time to pay more attention to my mental health

Researching those things are fine, however, regarding change, perhaps look upon it as thinking, or spending time reflecting upon why you do what you do which results in growth in self-awareness?

I always try to go find the root cause of everything in me, that's how I found out I have ADHD and limerence as well. I like to understand the mechanism behind everything, down to the neurotransmitter that's imbalanced and causes it. Does it help? Not sure, but the nerd inside of me can't avoid it. I can say it brought me a lot of self awareness, but it's still a mess in here, and making sense out of it is never easy.