the truth will set you free but first it will piss you off

[QQs]

the sum of this forum is humbling. i met myself this week, and wtaf. i wish i had had support around the urge to disclose, how to gracefully back off, and keep my dignity, keep from self-sabotaging, but. i don’t think i'll ever fully understand these experiences, but i know i need to try in order to make my life better so i can actually be close to someone someday – anyone else other than anyone have tips/tools that keep them focused/productive on harder days and avoid slipping back into bad habits?

also, openly acknowledging hunch that my most recent LO might be here too. is that just “classic” LS at play? do i really have to worry about the possibility of that being technically a breach of no contact if I find support here helpful? i’ll never know, i don’t want to ever ever know, but i am going to challenge myself on my reasons for being here, lest this become another painful vacuum on my time. this hunch caused me some hesitation about participating, and there’s points on this journey i wasn't so rational: like thinking disclosure = end to my feelings.

anyways. this has been an invitation to reality. i'm finding my anger/frustration so comical now because i was just fighting with myself. no one is coming. i have a roof/food/electricity right now, plus the luxury of a connection. what is wrong with me?

[David]

welcome QQ

your title of this thread says it all

[QQs]

thank you David. yes, i'm paying attention now lol

[JupiterTaco]

Hey QQ I've been around for quite a while and I remember that was one thing that I wondered about when I signed up here. I even told a mutual friend about this site nevertheless if somebody here knows me nobody's ever said anything LOL.

[L-F]

anyone have tips/tools that keep them focused/productive on harder days and avoid slipping back into bad habits?

When you say bad habits, are you referring to making contact with LO, or falling limerent again?
I wouldn't call it bad habits as such, I'd call it unconscious drivers (which I suppose leads to habits), speaking for myself.

What makes you think LO could be here? Do you think they were limerent for you or someone else? Or do you feel they were/are trying to work out what went down between you two? Or do you feel they are stalking? Personally, I wouldn't stress about LO knowing I'm here. I'm sure they already think I'm nuts so... honestly, at this point, I couldn't care less what they think of me. I know for a fact they played their part in this dance, yet, I'm the only one responsible for saving myself / working on myself. Which you highlighted when you said, "No one is coming".

As for being a breach of NC, technically it's not a breach if either of you don't know each other's identity. A different story if you did.

Welcome!

[QQs]

hi


i want to believe that i can manage my limerence going forward now that i know what it is and i do that by taking better care of myself. i'm having trouble sticking to goals and a routine. things will go fine for a while, a trigger comes up and i self-sabotage, call in sick, make excuses in order to withdraw, avoid. i wish i could find this rhythym & simple routine that im craving, and then keep it. if i can do that, i think i'll better cope to those crashes/urges to run. i’m realizing as i type that meal-planning is a part, idk sometimes i reorganize my space to encourage better habits, set alarms. I’ve tried some different accountability apps.

thanks for the support everyone.

[L-F]

Probably best not to mention too much info. Hopefully that will help ease anxiety over the issue of bumping into someone you may know in rl on here.

All the best!