Stalked by LO

[faebelle]

I’m so confused right now. My LO is someone who stalked me in person and online. Recently he married. Not even sure how to react or why he won’t explain. Can anyone weigh in? Should I notify the spouse? I never asked him to stalk me and I never flirted with him or offered personal info.

[L-F]

Not enough info for me to weigh in sorry. Can you define stalking? In what ways and for how long? Are you work colleagues, neighbours, friends? There needs to be a bit more context.

All that aside, if I run with what you have shared here (sorry I haven't looked at your profile to see if you are a newbie or have already posted about your situation). I would say this person has made you feel uncomfortable, thus my question to you is, have you clearly and concisely communicated this with him? What strategies have you used to address his staking? Contacted the police? talked to friends?

Whatever has transpired, I'm sorry you have experienced stalking. It is a horrendous experience. Can I ask what age you are and if you have a support network to help you navigate this?

[L-F]

Wait. I missed the most important clue. So this person is YOUR limerent object, someone you lust over, and he stalks you?

[JupiterTaco]

I’m so confused right now. My LO is someone who stalked me in person and online. Recently he married. Not even sure how to react or why he won’t explain. Can anyone weigh in? Should I notify the spouse? I never asked him to stalk me and I never flirted with him or offered personal info.

What I'm going to tell you is to just leave it alone if at all possible. Any attention you give these people is like a neon green light for them to just keep up their crap. The same with letting the person know that they are affecting you in any way you must not do that for your own good. It can't be easy and it's probably very hard. There are resources for stalking survivors which can be really helpful.

Otherwise possibly use this experience to think about how it is you became attached to someone who treats you like this. I went through an experience with a former neighbor who I also became obsessed with avoiding along with being attracted to her and that was a complete mind f*** for me. My experiences are under the J merry-go-round further back probably a couple years ago if you might be interested in reading that but the long and short story is that experience dredged up a lot for me so maybe that's what this type of experience serves is to look at that stuff and heal it.

[marko]

If it's stalking, you should file a police report. If you can't because you are LE, I get that as well. Oddly my current LO had a restraining order placed on her BF right after Christmas. Makes me feel like a stalker and I've joked about that with her and she just laughs. The LO must have found you to be a bit obvious?

[L-F]

If it's stalking, you should file a police report.

My sentiment too.
If I was being annoyed by someone constantly checking up on me I'd tell them to back off.
If I felt harassed, I'd involve the police or employers HR team (if a work colleague).

I would not involve the wife/spouse.