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lost a few posts
lost a few posts
apologies folks, had to do a restore as had some system issues and we've lost the last one day of posts
bummer :ymdevil: :ymdevil: :ymdevil: :ymdevil:
bummer :ymdevil: :ymdevil: :ymdevil: :ymdevil:
Purchase the 24 part video series on overcoming limerence - see https://limerence.thinkific.com/courses/healing-limerence
Re: lost a few posts
Ah, does this include messages sent? That would explain it.
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- Posts: 509
- Joined: Tue Jun 30, 2015 12:14 am
Re: lost a few posts
_@LisaT's thread was lost and i was just meaning to say, Lisa, don't be too down on yourself. i'm sure re-establishment of contact is a tough challenge for anyone at any point of recovery.
rather, if NC is out of the question as it seems to be in your case, then it'd be better to view it as a way of solidifying the progress taken so far.
what is progress in combatting LE? it can't be how long one maintains an NC, or some superficial thing like that but rather how much inroad one makes in understanding one's wants that trigger the cravings, one's (habitual) reactions, one's self in general--developing self awareness-- and that means that that progress can't be robbed w/ the eventual--unfortunate-- re-arrival of an LO.
as to how to function in the immediate future wrt him, i think it's helpful to settle the question if you want to be with him or not--have i missed you mentioning this issue before??
once you firmly decide that you do not want to be w/ this man, for whatever reason, then it is my opinion that half the work is done.
rather, if NC is out of the question as it seems to be in your case, then it'd be better to view it as a way of solidifying the progress taken so far.
what is progress in combatting LE? it can't be how long one maintains an NC, or some superficial thing like that but rather how much inroad one makes in understanding one's wants that trigger the cravings, one's (habitual) reactions, one's self in general--developing self awareness-- and that means that that progress can't be robbed w/ the eventual--unfortunate-- re-arrival of an LO.
as to how to function in the immediate future wrt him, i think it's helpful to settle the question if you want to be with him or not--have i missed you mentioning this issue before??
once you firmly decide that you do not want to be w/ this man, for whatever reason, then it is my opinion that half the work is done.
Ignore.Satisfy.Understand
Re: lost a few posts
I'm glad it was just a re-boot. I was afraid I'd brought over whatever virus makes the Tribe site so unreliable!
Re: lost a few posts
:-DCharlie wrote:I'm glad it was just a re-boot. I was afraid I'd brought over whatever virus makes the Tribe site so unreliable!
It was a glitch when I upgraded the board software - we only lost about 3 posts as the last back was 12 hours prior to the restore i used
so only posts and PM';s in that 12 hour window back on May 11th would have been lost
Sad to seem Tribe has floated off into the ether.
Purchase the 24 part video series on overcoming limerence - see https://limerence.thinkific.com/courses/healing-limerence
Re: lost a few posts
I think all three posts were mine.
Re: lost a few posts
I managed to get on tribe a couple of days ago and point people to this lifeboat. It only took about 25 attempts to get a new thread launched. Hopefully those that need help will migrate over.
- LisaTranscending
- Posts: 898
- Joined: Thu Oct 01, 2015 12:48 pm
Re: lost a few posts
ha ha Charlie. i thought it was reigniting my limerent torch that set off limerence capacity and simply short-circuited the system. (wish that worked on brains as well as computers.)
but thanks anji for that feedback. I'm a bit scattered today about it all, how it seems that ignition is really sometimes just a contact away. I thought I had all my emotions in that regard pretty well mastered (or the bigger parts of those emotions at least under some control) I learned yesterday that if my exLO comes too close and gives off any kind of sexual energy or emotional kindness to me, my mind remembers exactly where he lives in my brain, and those dopamine surges are going to set off that limerent rocket in blast off speed. I couldn't believe I went right there in my head. I replayed the encounter ad nauseum, over and over analyzing what did he mean. I thought about him before I went to sleep, and he was my first thought this morning,
I feel a small victory in that I haven't sent an email. even though I have a friend who was (an ex-tribe member believe it or not) telling me there's no shame or sin in doing that at this point. she helped me craft an email...but the truth is...I'm too afraid to send it. I can't really say why I'm afraid. I don't like that I'm afraid. But...that's where I am today. It's not some crazy disclosure email..just a thank you and here's my contact info if you want to meet in town for lunch. no biggie. but...well...I'm uncomfortable sending it. after 5 years of limerence (which I didn't really blame on him, but all the stress that was happening in my life that made it so out of proportion to anything I have ever experience before or since)...I am just afraid.
anyway...don't know if I make any sense at all today.
but thanks anji for that feedback. I'm a bit scattered today about it all, how it seems that ignition is really sometimes just a contact away. I thought I had all my emotions in that regard pretty well mastered (or the bigger parts of those emotions at least under some control) I learned yesterday that if my exLO comes too close and gives off any kind of sexual energy or emotional kindness to me, my mind remembers exactly where he lives in my brain, and those dopamine surges are going to set off that limerent rocket in blast off speed. I couldn't believe I went right there in my head. I replayed the encounter ad nauseum, over and over analyzing what did he mean. I thought about him before I went to sleep, and he was my first thought this morning,
I feel a small victory in that I haven't sent an email. even though I have a friend who was (an ex-tribe member believe it or not) telling me there's no shame or sin in doing that at this point. she helped me craft an email...but the truth is...I'm too afraid to send it. I can't really say why I'm afraid. I don't like that I'm afraid. But...that's where I am today. It's not some crazy disclosure email..just a thank you and here's my contact info if you want to meet in town for lunch. no biggie. but...well...I'm uncomfortable sending it. after 5 years of limerence (which I didn't really blame on him, but all the stress that was happening in my life that made it so out of proportion to anything I have ever experience before or since)...I am just afraid.
anyway...don't know if I make any sense at all today.
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- Posts: 352
- Joined: Thu Jun 04, 2015 4:16 am
Re: lost a few posts
Hey LisaT
Yeah, that makes sense. It must be a very confusing time. What are your feelings around exploring things with LO? Could it be a positive thing or just a road to more pain?
I know the fear of contacting LO all too well, a fear of being hurt.
Yeah, that makes sense. It must be a very confusing time. What are your feelings around exploring things with LO? Could it be a positive thing or just a road to more pain?
I know the fear of contacting LO all too well, a fear of being hurt.
- LisaTranscending
- Posts: 898
- Joined: Thu Oct 01, 2015 12:48 pm
Re: lost a few posts
Hi Lost and Confused.
Last night I did some research and I found this article
http://addictioncapetown.blogspot.com/2 ... aving.html
this is a great read for us limerents. It juxtaposed brain chemistry with philosophy (religion) and this subject really has fascinated me since my brain was completely hijacked five years ago. One of the bullet points really struck me: 'Wanting' mechanism can flip to fear"
I think I now understand what has been happening all along in our encounters. Yes, David...bringing the unconscious to the light!
My fear is just some region of my brain that gets activated by the dopamine of seeing LO, be it from his actual smile, all my accumulated memories, or whatever it is that just sets me off when I see his face. (I think it's his actual face that is doing this to my brain). The human brain has a great memory for faces that starts in infancy when we come to memorize our mother's face.
So I'm feeling better today. Not like a love-struck fool. But since my last post was lost, I still remember the feelings of that first bolt of love jones from my close-encounter-of-a-limerent-kind with exLO. and I posted this song. Which...I just love this song..limerent or not. and of course Tony...what can one say about Tony that comes even close to what Tony is.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S4IYFIUxFpU
yep...when I listened to this...felt the old pull. oy vey.
I don't know. I'm thinking about this.Lost and confused wrote:What are your feelings around exploring things with LO? Could it be a positive thing or just a road to more pain?
Last night I did some research and I found this article
http://addictioncapetown.blogspot.com/2 ... aving.html
this is a great read for us limerents. It juxtaposed brain chemistry with philosophy (religion) and this subject really has fascinated me since my brain was completely hijacked five years ago. One of the bullet points really struck me: 'Wanting' mechanism can flip to fear"
I think I now understand what has been happening all along in our encounters. Yes, David...bringing the unconscious to the light!
My fear is just some region of my brain that gets activated by the dopamine of seeing LO, be it from his actual smile, all my accumulated memories, or whatever it is that just sets me off when I see his face. (I think it's his actual face that is doing this to my brain). The human brain has a great memory for faces that starts in infancy when we come to memorize our mother's face.
So I'm feeling better today. Not like a love-struck fool. But since my last post was lost, I still remember the feelings of that first bolt of love jones from my close-encounter-of-a-limerent-kind with exLO. and I posted this song. Which...I just love this song..limerent or not. and of course Tony...what can one say about Tony that comes even close to what Tony is.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S4IYFIUxFpU
yep...when I listened to this...felt the old pull. oy vey.
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