BECOME A MEMBER AND EMBRACE EXCLUSIVE ACCESS
Unlock exclusive features and connect with like-minded individuals by upgrading to our premium membership.
As a member, you'll gain access to our members-only forums, where you can:
Engage in meaningful discussions: Read, create, and search all threads and posts, fostering a vibrant community of like-minded individuals.
Establish deeper connections: Utilize our private messaging system to connect with other members on a personal level, fostering meaningful relationships.
Enjoy these benefits and more for just $2.99 per month, payable securely via PayPal.
Membership is flexible, allowing you to cancel anytime without any hassle.
Sign up today and embark on a journey of personal growth and connection. Join our community of passionate individuals and unlock a world of possibilities.

Click https://limerence.net/membership-accoun ... p-checkout

Steps I am taking.

A place for those new to this site. The more experienced users of this site tend to frequent the members only section more.
PhoenixJB
Posts: 164
Joined: Wed Feb 19, 2020 11:28 pm
United States of America

Steps I am taking.

Post by PhoenixJB »

So... I think things are ended with Lo and I. It was an EA/PA. Very short-lived. Last weekend we spent together and it was really really good. But just a few days later he mentioned something about not fair to expect me to wait for him, I asked him what I'm waiting for, just more weekends together or what. (He is married and staying for his daughter, so he claims). He said waiting for anything. Then over the next couple days he grew more distant and colder and finally blew up on Friday/Saturday. I think it's over. I'm not outta the woods yet as I'm still attached but... I am taking steps to move forward. Here is what I am doing:

1. I called around to get info on Alcoholics Anonymous meetings. There is one this evening that I plan to attend. I have been drinking WAY too much lately. As a couple of my friends have noted, and asked about.
2. I emailed for info on SLAA meetings. I recognize that I feel so very lonely and incomplete without a man and that leads me to guys I may otherwise not give the time of day (like LO) and allow to treat me poorly.
3. I am searching for a therapist.
4. I am going to reach out to friends and ask to see them more often, I mean that's limited b/c of Covid, but... we live country and can do outdoor hangouts...
5. I am going to spend less time on social media (there is another addiction).

Any other suggestions...? I will read through this subforum after work.
Cookie
Posts: 1190
Joined: Wed Sep 27, 2017 4:08 pm
United States of America

Re: Steps I am taking.

Post by Cookie »

These are all very positive steps, Phoenix! Can’t think of anything to add, other than enjoy some outdoor time and just breathe. This is post-trauma recovery. And don’t respond to his faux apologies and attempts to “get you back” when he’s bored.
Person
Acrobatica
Posts: 701
Joined: Tue Apr 10, 2018 6:02 pm
France

Re: Steps I am taking.

Post by Acrobatica »

These are really great steps Phoenix. I think it is wonderful that you took the time to write them down.

Sending you love and strength!
PhoenixJB
Posts: 164
Joined: Wed Feb 19, 2020 11:28 pm
United States of America

Re: Steps I am taking.

Post by PhoenixJB »

I went to an AA meeting at noon, in a nearby town. I cried a lot, and at least half a dozen people came up to me after to welcome me, hug me, give me their ph# and get mine so they can check on me later.

Alcohol is not my only problem, but... it's one.

I am going to the 7pm meeting here in my town tonight. If I don't, I'll drink.
User avatar
Celestialbody
Posts: 180
Joined: Mon Nov 21, 2016 2:41 pm
Australia

Re: Steps I am taking.

Post by Celestialbody »

Go to your meeting. Don't drink! I am working on that problem myself. It's a band-aid. You can do it!
PhoenixJB
Posts: 164
Joined: Wed Feb 19, 2020 11:28 pm
United States of America

Re: Steps I am taking.

Post by PhoenixJB »

Thanks Celestial, and you can do it too!! We gotta stay strong...
Maddie
Posts: 1515
Joined: Fri Feb 02, 2018 1:09 am
Gender:
United States of America

Re: Steps I am taking.

Post by Maddie »

Good for you, Phoenix! Oddly enough my friend asked if I wanted to go to the 7pm mtg here where I live (AA). Proud of you for these steps you're taking. I relapsed after several years of sobriety during this first LE of my life. I would've never dreamed it would lead to relapse. In fact, one of my first posts on here I was talking out how proud I was of my sobriety and a sweet person on here (TheMoon) commented encouraging me not to lose anything I hold dear bc of LE...well, I did what I wanted to do. Anyway.....I can say that in periods of true sobriety I've felt more happy and whole than ever in my life. It is possible. Here's to being happy, joyous, and free. :ymhug:
I hope you live a life you’re proud of, and if you’re not, I hope you have the courage to start all over again.

F. Scott Fitzgerald
Nensi
Posts: 34
Joined: Thu Feb 27, 2020 5:14 pm
Gender:
Russia

Re: Steps I am taking.

Post by Nensi »

Try to eat well, smile to yourself in the mirror and say: I love you and I'm holding your back (sounds silly, but actually helps).
Also try to occupy your mind with anything that gives you even faintest hint of pleasure, reading, walking, shopping...
We are here for you :)
Me: F
LO: M
Both married.
PhoenixJB
Posts: 164
Joined: Wed Feb 19, 2020 11:28 pm
United States of America

Re: Steps I am taking.

Post by PhoenixJB »

Maddie wrote: Mon Jun 29, 2020 9:21 pm Oddly enough my friend asked if I wanted to go to the 7pm mtg here where I live (AA)
Maddie I just got home from the 7pm group. I want to drink. But I won't... I also realized my truest addiction is to people, as an escape from loneliness.

Also I really really am itching to message LO and tell him what a liar and asshole he is, that I can see now he was just playing games, and I don't know what the hell happened between our really good weekend (last weekend!!) and just a few days later. I didn't do my best but I refuse to take all the blame.
PhoenixJB
Posts: 164
Joined: Wed Feb 19, 2020 11:28 pm
United States of America

Re: Steps I am taking.

Post by PhoenixJB »

Nensi wrote: Mon Jun 29, 2020 9:36 pm Try to eat well, smile to yourself in the mirror and say: I love you and I'm holding your back (sounds silly, but actually helps).
Also try to occupy your mind with anything that gives you even faintest hint of pleasure, reading, walking, shopping...
We are here for you :)
Thank you Nensi :)

There are things that used to bring me joy and pleasure, but LO superceded all of those and now those things pale in comparison. It's like doing whatever is the very best drug, and then nothing less gives the same effect. Ughhhh....
Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 26 guests