I feel worthless

[Blametruth1997]

Hi,

I feel soooooo crap.
I really like my friend and she doesn't like me back. I helped her out in sooo many ways for the past 2 years .
I'm just stuck . My mind thinks about her 24/7. I don't have many friends either. I just feel so alone and ugly in this world .
I don't what to do . Pleaseee help me. And it's very difficult to go nc with her because she's the only that kinda understands me and she's the only friend that i have

[Cookie]

Hi Blame,

That's a myth that we tell ourselves with the LO -- they are the only person in the world for us, the only one who understands us, the only friend we have. Because limerence is steeped in idealization, we create a "bubble world" that we start believing is the only place we can exist and be happy. But it's a lie. It's a fake world, mostly in our heads.

These are hard times to make new friends, but I've learned through this that you don't need a big circle and a lot of pals. You just need one trusted person. If you don't have them in your life now, you will. And it will happen naturally -- not by force and obsessive pursuit.

And you will make new friends here. Hello!

[Pandora]

Hey BlameTruth,

I've felt that way too, feeling ugly and alone and dependent on one person for all my emotional needs. And sometimes I still feel that way. Something I've learned is that I was preemptively cutting off any other chance at relationships because I was afraid of being hurt by others, so I would prejudge them because I assumed they had already judged me and found me lacking. I needed to start really trying to engage with other people in order to make connections and find the people that would like me for who I was. It's hard, and I still faced rejection a lot of times. But the truth is that everyone faces rejection in their lives, and those that emerge from it successfully are the ones that learn from it and don't take it personally. Not everyone is going to like me, and in return I don't have to like everyone. Most importantly, I learned that no one person can meet, or should be expected to meet, all of my needs.

And like Cookie said, limerence is especially hard because it puts us in this bubble where we idealize our LO and think they're perfect and all we need and they consume our thoughts. But ultimately we are all human and others will fail us, and we will fail others.

You mention that you've done so many things for your LO over the past 2 years. Did you have expectations on the things that you did for her? Like 'If I do this for her, she'll HAVE to like me because I am such a wonderful person?' If so, stop helping her. It isn't truly help if you're expecting something specific in return - it's a bartering agreement that she doesn't know the terms of. And that's unfair to both of you.

Welcome! I hope you find some solace on this board.

[Blametruth1997]

Yesterday I had the courage to tell her . She already knew that I liked her but I told her that i am disappearing from her life. She said it doesn't make her uncomfortable that I like her . But if it's affecting me then she understands. She said we can limit contact but i told I'm just gnna stay low for a while . But i just feel so upset all thoso memories what am i going to do now . I'm alone and i can't stop crying. 80 percent of me doesn't want to leave because I enjoy chilling with her soooo much but ik that I need to . But I just feel so sadddd . I just want to sleep forever.

[Idiotic]

Sorry it's so hard rn.
It's a shitty year.