Email/goodbye

[Lexi]

My LO will soon be moving out of the country with his new gf and child. Relationship over the last five years with no contact during time he met new gf and had child. I am in a lonely 20 ur marriage to a good man . We are slowly rebuilding closeness . Lo is blocked on text /sm but reaching out recently via email to tell me he's moving . But, that his heart belongs to me only and he will love me forever . I have responded to the emails and am dreading the upcoming formal goodbye email to come in next two weeks . I'm in a panic mode. I signed up for a mediation weekend to fill one weekend before he leaves. I am dreading my response to his next email as I know I will not be able to not respond goodbye . Any advice on how to not respond ? Sounds so silly . Obvious answer is just don't . But thank you.

[Katrulz]

Leave a dignified but friendly reply. Imagine that you were receiving a goodbye email that other people could possibly read. Including your SO.

Show gratitude, respect and wish him well. Speak honesty but bite back all the cluttered, impossible longings and wishes that is scampering around your mind - that I remember so well..

Most important of all, make a draft today. Do not get impulsive and write something at the last minute.

If it helps, sit down and write down a list of the things he’s helped you with.

Don’t tell him you’re crying or you love him or wish he wouldn’t leave. Don’t tell him you think about him constantly and your heart is his.

Instead tell him you’re grateful to have met such a wonderful, kind, helpful, {insert positive platonic descriptor} person and that you wish him well.

I’d recommend not leaving an offer to stay in touch. Cause he likely will take you up on that and leave you in limbo.

Good luck. Stay strong. We are here for you.

[Lexi]

Thank you so much for this response;very glad to have found this site .

[marko]

I can project enough rejection that I feel to much anxiety to reach back towards my LO. I want to check in, I want to know but the complete NC really helps.

[Lexi]

Thank you

[Nowords]

Leave a dignified but friendly reply. Imagine that you were receiving a goodbye email that other people could possibly read. Including your SO.

Show gratitude, respect and wish him well. Speak honesty but bite back all the cluttered, impossible longings and wishes that is scampering around your mind - that I remember so well..

Most important of all, make a draft today. Do not get impulsive and write something at the last minute.

If it helps, sit down and write down a list of the things he’s helped you with.

Don’t tell him you’re crying or you love him or wish he wouldn’t leave. Don’t tell him you think about him constantly and your heart is his.

Instead tell him you’re grateful to have met such a wonderful, kind, helpful, {insert positive platonic descriptor} person and that you wish him well.

I’d recommend not leaving an offer to stay in touch. Cause he likely will take you up on that and leave you in limbo.

Good luck. Stay strong. We are here for you.

That is incredibly sound advise - very wise and mature. It is important to rise above it all and respect the fact that the LO is just as human as anyone else and being dignified in correspondence ultimately makes you feel so much better. There is always so much to be said, but I am finding that in order for the limerence to die down and eventually go away, you have to take the high road. When you put emotion into it by poring your heart out or by being angry and upset, it add fuel to the fire. You are ultimately hoping for something in return. I like getting beyond emotional limbo and getting to a more peaceful mind set. It is hard to do, but that is the work worth working on.

[JupiterTaco]

I would've told him that was highly inappropriate. What was the point of him saying that? Some people are truly out of touch I guess.

[Cookie]

I would've told him that was highly inappropriate. What was the point of him saying that? Some people are truly out of touch I guess.

Some are out of touch; others are just plain manipulative. His heart belongs to "you only" when it's in own interest to have you think that (i.e., to keep you hooked). I've been where you are and watched my LO move 3,000 miles away to be with his GF.

I like Katrulz' suggestion of an email response that could be read openly by anyone, rather than something secret and behind the scenes--which is what he just did to you. I would take that line of thinking a step further and visualize his girlfriend holding their baby and reading any of these communications.

I know how bad this hurts, Lexi. But these trysts are nothing but damaging to all involved. If it's any consolation, he will never be happy with anyone else because he isn't happy with himself.

A jump start to taking back your power: don't respond AT ALL. It's the gift that keeps on giving.

[JupiterTaco]

So true...