Hey guys. I just found out what limerence is. And I think I have this condition. Everytime I fell in love, symptoms of depression comes out.
I think I already felt that 10 times, more or less. Sometimes, I cut myself. I'm having suicide ideation, and so on. I just found out why I'm being like this every time I fell inlove. And limerence was the reason.
But I don't know. Maybe that's just what I want to think.
Anyway, I have this girl. Well, we are not in a relationship. I just confessed my feelings for her about two weeks ago. And I think she didn't feel the same way. And yes, I'm having this suicide ideation again, tired to live my life, and other negative emotions.
I know limerence is not healthy. And I don't want to bother her if I have this condition.
I don't know if I should stop chasing her, or still continue because I already told her that I want to pursue her.
Well, she's not pushing me away. We have good relationship because we knew each other for a while now. But because of my mind, I just want to drop everything right now just because.
I've been in 3 different relationships. All relationship lasted for at least a year, 15 months at most. I just broke up with them because I don't feel anything anymore. And I am aware why I did that. But this girl right now, I really like her. I like her attitude, the way she talks. And I know that I might throw her away if this limerence thing fades, but I want to prevent that from happening. But I don't know.. I already said this to different girls before so I don't know anymore. But at least, I'll try. But I don't know. Fvck my life.
I don't know anymore. I think I should stop falling in love because it makes me sick.
Falling in love triggers suicidal ideation, at least for me.