The torture of NC/Instagram

[DreamingBlue]

I guess because I haven't blocked her, I can still see, even though I've unfollowed, that she has two new posts on Instagram. For some reason, during this NC period, this has activated me to painful levels of longing. I want to see her face. I want to see what she's up to, even if new boyfriend is involved. I just want to see. WHY??? It'll be painful! Why do I want the pain? It's my limerent brain saying "Yes it's worth the burn, to see her face."

Right? Isn't this just like the mice going through the zapping electrical field to get their hit of dopamine? This is sick and crazy.

And yet still some part of my brain sees this as worthwhile longing, like she holds some kind of key to my future, like she is someone I was meant to meet, and need to know. I hate this so much.

[Warped]

And yet still some part of my brain sees this as worthwhile longing, like she holds some kind of key to my future, like she is someone I was meant to meet, and need to know. I hate this so much.

I understand the pain! You know what you need to do and trust that you can do it.

One of the steps to recover from any addiction is to remove temptation and access. Just like how an alcoholic needs to get rid of all the alcohol in his house, or a smoker to get rid of his cigarettes, you do need to block her on social media so that she doesn't appear.

I have the same feelings. Every time I have the urge to unblock and check her on social media, and then I prevent myself from doing it, is a victory. It is one more step towards recovery. By not submitting and giving your brain that dopamine hit, it will slowly crave it less and less.

Be strong, you got this!

[AMA210]

Social media has been dead for several months, so nothing to see there.

I am on day one of self inflicted NC and I feel confined and unable to go anywhere.
The temptation is too great to even be anywhere near the school and I refuse to give him any more attention.

I am so tired of picking up the box of matches, looking at them, and then tossing sanity to the wind, and lighting one. It's sheer madness.
If the matches are wet, they won't light.
This sucks.