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Approaching a sensitive subject
Re: Approaching a sensitive subject
It sounds like you did what was right for you and that is ok. We all contribute our opinions here but ultimately the decision is yours.
Never give up! Keep moving forward, no matter what.
Re: Approaching a sensitive subject
I agree that you can be genuinely worried about her, as a friend, without side intentions. Well done. Yes, we need to get rid of limerence but it doesn't mean that we should forget that LO also is a human being.
Re: Approaching a sensitive subject
Hi Peter.rabbit
I can understand the approach you took given that you knew the news of her husband. Letting that sort of information go is incredibly difficult.
I guess the danger is it keeps you in the drama game and doesn’t help you move on ultimately, as now you know that it will be on your mind and then at some point the sticky question of one of you being available will ultimately come up. It may not be an issue by then hopefully if the limerence is discharged.
I appreciate it’s a massively tricky situation and wish you all the best.
I can understand the approach you took given that you knew the news of her husband. Letting that sort of information go is incredibly difficult.
I guess the danger is it keeps you in the drama game and doesn’t help you move on ultimately, as now you know that it will be on your mind and then at some point the sticky question of one of you being available will ultimately come up. It may not be an issue by then hopefully if the limerence is discharged.
I appreciate it’s a massively tricky situation and wish you all the best.
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- Posts: 450
- Joined: Wed Jul 24, 2019 12:27 am
Re: Approaching a sensitive subject
Yes, having addressed that bad news the other day I could just treat her today as one of the group and let her enjoy that, which she sorely needs...as she is taking her husband to oncology and pain management this afternoon.Spadge100 wrote: ↑Mon Jul 19, 2021 11:12 am Hi Peter.rabbit
I can understand the approach you took given that you knew the news of her husband. Letting that sort of information go is incredibly difficult.
I guess the danger is it keeps you in the drama game and doesn’t help you move on ultimately, as now you know that it will be on your mind and then at some point the sticky question of one of you being available will ultimately come up. It may not be an issue by then hopefully if the limerence is discharged.
I appreciate it’s a massively tricky situation and wish you all the best.
My Limerent status meter: relaxed and a ease.
Weak people revenge.
Strong people forgive.
Intelligent people ignore.
-Albert Einstein
Strong people forgive.
Intelligent people ignore.
-Albert Einstein
Re: Approaching a sensitive subject
Can you use the lessons learned from past LOs and apply it/them to your current LO?peter.rabbit wrote: ↑Tue Jul 13, 2021 11:35 pm I can tell you this- lessons were learned from the LE,PA,marriage,divorce associated with the previous LO.
Crack up! Hey Idddyyyyyyy!
Ditto Peter. I would too.peter.rabbit wrote: ↑Sat Jul 17, 2021 11:09 pm I'd certainly do the same for each and every one of my friends.
As others have mentioned, and only because WE are limerents who know all the tricks the mind plays. Be very honest with yourself and what's driving you. Brutally and radically honest. Every step of the way. I believe that's the only way to separate 'friend' from 'limerent object'. All the best!
"And in the end, we were all just humans…Drunk on the idea that love, only love, could heal our brokenness." ~ F. Scott Fitzgerald
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- Posts: 450
- Joined: Wed Jul 24, 2019 12:27 am
Re: Approaching a sensitive subject
Exactly. Probably the only "upside' to being an obsessive-compulsive overthinking neurotic is that at least every last thought and feeling gets examined in excruciating detail.L-S wrote: Be very honest with yourself and what's driving you. Brutally and radically honest. Every step of the way. I believe that's the only way to separate 'friend' from 'limerent object'. All the best!
Weak people revenge.
Strong people forgive.
Intelligent people ignore.
-Albert Einstein
Strong people forgive.
Intelligent people ignore.
-Albert Einstein
Re: Approaching a sensitive subject
L-F wrote: ↑Wed Jul 21, 2021 6:41 amCan you use the lessons learned from past LOs and apply it/them to your current LO?peter.rabbit wrote: ↑Tue Jul 13, 2021 11:35 pm I can tell you this- lessons were learned from the LE,PA,marriage,divorce associated with the previous LO.
"And in the end, we were all just humans…Drunk on the idea that love, only love, could heal our brokenness." ~ F. Scott Fitzgerald
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- Posts: 450
- Joined: Wed Jul 24, 2019 12:27 am
Re: Approaching a sensitive subject
Yes, learned and applied to current LE...evident by the fact that I've avoided completely destroying my entire life over a fantasy.L-F wrote: ↑Thu Jul 22, 2021 12:03 amL-F wrote: ↑Wed Jul 21, 2021 6:41 amCan you use the lessons learned from past LOs and apply it/them to your current LO?peter.rabbit wrote: ↑Tue Jul 13, 2021 11:35 pm I can tell you this- lessons were learned from the LE,PA,marriage,divorce associated with the previous LO.
Weak people revenge.
Strong people forgive.
Intelligent people ignore.
-Albert Einstein
Strong people forgive.
Intelligent people ignore.
-Albert Einstein
Re: Approaching a sensitive subject
I must confess that this is the first LE that I have ever experienced in my life.
It has taught me a valuable life lesson.
Agree that growing/learning from past limerent experiences is vital to prevent repeat occurrences,
of a similar magnitude in the future.
It has taught me a valuable life lesson.
Agree that growing/learning from past limerent experiences is vital to prevent repeat occurrences,
of a similar magnitude in the future.
Re: Approaching a sensitive subject
Peter, I'm not talking about the 'consequences' of your actions, I'm referring to things you've learned about your self - what drives your limerence, etc. I know you are seeing someone, so hopefully they can help you to unpack it all. If in doubt, David might be an option?peter.rabbit wrote: ↑Thu Jul 22, 2021 4:18 amYes, learned and applied to current LE...evident by the fact that I've avoided completely destroying my entire life over a fantasy.
"And in the end, we were all just humans…Drunk on the idea that love, only love, could heal our brokenness." ~ F. Scott Fitzgerald
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