BECOME A MEMBER AND EMBRACE EXCLUSIVE ACCESS
Unlock exclusive features and connect with like-minded individuals by upgrading to our premium membership.
As a member, you'll gain access to our members-only forums, where you can:
Engage in meaningful discussions: Read, create, and search all threads and posts, fostering a vibrant community of like-minded individuals.
Establish deeper connections: Utilize our private messaging system to connect with other members on a personal level, fostering meaningful relationships.
Enjoy these benefits and more for just $2.99 per month, payable securely via PayPal.
Membership is flexible, allowing you to cancel anytime without any hassle.
Sign up today and embark on a journey of personal growth and connection. Join our community of passionate individuals and unlock a world of possibilities.

Click https://limerence.net/membership-accoun ... p-checkout

Approaching a sensitive subject

A place for those new to this site. The more experienced users of this site tend to frequent the members only section more.
Post Reply
AMA210
Posts: 2385
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2016 2:17 pm
Location: Midwest
Gender:
United States of America

Re: Approaching a sensitive subject

Post by AMA210 »

It sounds like you did what was right for you and that is ok. We all contribute our opinions here but ultimately the decision is yours.
Never give up! Keep moving forward, no matter what.
IvB
Posts: 280
Joined: Thu Nov 12, 2020 8:30 pm
Czech Republic

Re: Approaching a sensitive subject

Post by IvB »

I agree that you can be genuinely worried about her, as a friend, without side intentions. Well done. Yes, we need to get rid of limerence but it doesn't mean that we should forget that LO also is a human being.
Spadge100
Posts: 291
Joined: Sat Oct 24, 2020 10:02 pm
Gender:
Great Britain

Re: Approaching a sensitive subject

Post by Spadge100 »

Hi Peter.rabbit

I can understand the approach you took given that you knew the news of her husband. Letting that sort of information go is incredibly difficult.

I guess the danger is it keeps you in the drama game and doesn’t help you move on ultimately, as now you know that it will be on your mind and then at some point the sticky question of one of you being available will ultimately come up. It may not be an issue by then hopefully if the limerence is discharged.

I appreciate it’s a massively tricky situation and wish you all the best.
peter.rabbit
Posts: 450
Joined: Wed Jul 24, 2019 12:27 am
United States of America

Re: Approaching a sensitive subject

Post by peter.rabbit »

Spadge100 wrote: Mon Jul 19, 2021 11:12 am Hi Peter.rabbit

I can understand the approach you took given that you knew the news of her husband. Letting that sort of information go is incredibly difficult.


I guess the danger is it keeps you in the drama game and doesn’t help you move on ultimately, as now you know that it will be on your mind and then at some point the sticky question of one of you being available will ultimately come up. It may not be an issue by then hopefully if the limerence is discharged.

I appreciate it’s a massively tricky situation and wish you all the best.
Yes, having addressed that bad news the other day I could just treat her today as one of the group and let her enjoy that, which she sorely needs...as she is taking her husband to oncology and pain management this afternoon.

My Limerent status meter: relaxed and a ease.
Weak people revenge.
Strong people forgive.
Intelligent people ignore.
-Albert Einstein
L-F
Posts: 4500
Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2017 9:55 am
United States of America

Re: Approaching a sensitive subject

Post by L-F »

peter.rabbit wrote: Tue Jul 13, 2021 11:35 pm I can tell you this- lessons were learned from the LE,PA,marriage,divorce associated with the previous LO.
Can you use the lessons learned from past LOs and apply it/them to your current LO?
Idiotic wrote: Fri Jul 16, 2021 7:18 pm I just have one question for you dude... Did Einstein really say that??
Crack up! Hey Idddyyyyyyy! :ymhug:
peter.rabbit wrote: Sat Jul 17, 2021 11:09 pm I'd certainly do the same for each and every one of my friends.
Ditto Peter. I would too.
As others have mentioned, and only because WE are limerents who know all the tricks the mind plays. Be very honest with yourself and what's driving you. Brutally and radically honest. Every step of the way. I believe that's the only way to separate 'friend' from 'limerent object'. All the best!
"And in the end, we were all just humans…Drunk on the idea that love, only love, could heal our brokenness." ~ F. Scott Fitzgerald
peter.rabbit
Posts: 450
Joined: Wed Jul 24, 2019 12:27 am
United States of America

Re: Approaching a sensitive subject

Post by peter.rabbit »

L-S wrote: Be very honest with yourself and what's driving you. Brutally and radically honest. Every step of the way. I believe that's the only way to separate 'friend' from 'limerent object'. All the best!
Exactly. Probably the only "upside' to being an obsessive-compulsive overthinking neurotic is that at least every last thought and feeling gets examined in excruciating detail.
Weak people revenge.
Strong people forgive.
Intelligent people ignore.
-Albert Einstein
L-F
Posts: 4500
Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2017 9:55 am
United States of America

Re: Approaching a sensitive subject

Post by L-F »

L-F wrote: Wed Jul 21, 2021 6:41 am
peter.rabbit wrote: Tue Jul 13, 2021 11:35 pm I can tell you this- lessons were learned from the LE,PA,marriage,divorce associated with the previous LO.
Can you use the lessons learned from past LOs and apply it/them to your current LO?
"And in the end, we were all just humans…Drunk on the idea that love, only love, could heal our brokenness." ~ F. Scott Fitzgerald
peter.rabbit
Posts: 450
Joined: Wed Jul 24, 2019 12:27 am
United States of America

Re: Approaching a sensitive subject

Post by peter.rabbit »

L-F wrote: Thu Jul 22, 2021 12:03 am
L-F wrote: Wed Jul 21, 2021 6:41 am
peter.rabbit wrote: Tue Jul 13, 2021 11:35 pm I can tell you this- lessons were learned from the LE,PA,marriage,divorce associated with the previous LO.
Can you use the lessons learned from past LOs and apply it/them to your current LO?
Yes, learned and applied to current LE...evident by the fact that I've avoided completely destroying my entire life over a fantasy.
Weak people revenge.
Strong people forgive.
Intelligent people ignore.
-Albert Einstein
virusbkk
Posts: 92
Joined: Sun Jun 06, 2021 7:37 am
Hong Kong

Re: Approaching a sensitive subject

Post by virusbkk »

I must confess that this is the first LE that I have ever experienced in my life.
It has taught me a valuable life lesson.

Agree that growing/learning from past limerent experiences is vital to prevent repeat occurrences,
of a similar magnitude in the future.
L-F
Posts: 4500
Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2017 9:55 am
United States of America

Re: Approaching a sensitive subject

Post by L-F »

peter.rabbit wrote: Thu Jul 22, 2021 4:18 am
L-F wrote: Thu Jul 22, 2021 12:03 am
L-F wrote: Wed Jul 21, 2021 6:41 am

Can you use the lessons learned from past LOs and apply it/them to your current LO?
Yes, learned and applied to current LE...evident by the fact that I've avoided completely destroying my entire life over a fantasy.
Peter, I'm not talking about the 'consequences' of your actions, I'm referring to things you've learned about your self - what drives your limerence, etc. I know you are seeing someone, so hopefully they can help you to unpack it all. If in doubt, David might be an option?
"And in the end, we were all just humans…Drunk on the idea that love, only love, could heal our brokenness." ~ F. Scott Fitzgerald
Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 9 guests