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Realising my SO also has an LO

A place for those new to this site. The more experienced users of this site tend to frequent the members only section more.
IvB
Posts: 280
Joined: Thu Nov 12, 2020 8:30 pm
Czech Republic

Re: Realising my SO also has an LO

Post by IvB »

I am sorry Spadge, you must feel horrible. Indeed, the fact that you were suffering and she didn't even let on that she might be in a similar situation is bad. But try to concentrate on present, that she regrets and really tries to fix it, that's important! I hope you both can get through this :(
Significant other
Posts: 138
Joined: Tue Apr 06, 2021 11:09 pm
Gender:
Age: 57
Spain

Re: Realising my SO also has an LO

Post by Significant other »

Hello Spadge100.
I hope that little by little you will progress. It is very complicated, especially without the intervention of external professionals. Courage and a lot of patience.
Reading about your hospitalization episode, I have a question: Whose idea was it to go to the doctor / hospital?
I ask this because if it is the same patient, the one who demands help, it is usually a problem of neurosis, anxiety disorder, depression, etc ... Except for major depressions, these are usually cases with a positive prognosis. Bipolarity, I think (( (?))), does not belong, generally to that group.
Perhaps David could delve into my coarse hypothesis.
Greetings and luck.
Spadge100
Posts: 291
Joined: Sat Oct 24, 2020 10:02 pm
Gender:
Great Britain

Re: Realising my SO also has an LO

Post by Spadge100 »

Hi Significant Other

My hospitalisation was effectively no choice. I began unravelling, and had a psychotic episode after character assassinating my wife for not loving me. There was an element of truth in it I know now, as my wife had already crossed the threshold and I believe when you know someone so well you can just tell these things, but a lot was where I was blinded by limerence.

Effectively I believed I had committed suicide or my family were all in danger. The ambulance came out and they then sectioned me as I was in full psychosis at that point. Hearing voices, hallucinating, it was a scary place.

It worries me the revelations of my wife’s affair will cause me to slip but I am doing everything in my power to not let that happen. Yes it’s the worst news and pain I have ever felt over the last six weeks but it can only get better.

I thought my rock bottom was last year when I was hospitalised but I believe it was six weeks ago so the only way is up.

Whether we make it remains to be seen. There is so much to accept and the intrusive thoughts are horrendous but during full limerence I learned to manage and control these and reduce my emotional reaction to them.

It’s hard to think of my wife thinking of another man but I can understand and I will forgive as forgiveness is for yourself. I am not a person prone to anger but resentment is still quite high. I am also a lot more withdrawn with my wife at the moment as it’s hard to look at her but we have glimmers of hope mixed in.

I think she is still in denial and not taking full accountability for her actions but at some point she will have to face up to her own thoughts of guilt and shame but I don’t think she is there yet, still coming down of that dopamine high. I don’t want her to feel those things to be honest, they don’t help, but remorse will come I believe.

Sorry long post. This forum really helps as the searching questions and no judgment really help to open up. Like a journal of sorts but interactive.

Significant other I follow your story and can definitely empathasise.
IvB
Posts: 280
Joined: Thu Nov 12, 2020 8:30 pm
Czech Republic

Re: Realising my SO also has an LO

Post by IvB »

Spadge, how are you doing??
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