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Lo is my friend

A place for those new to this site. The more experienced users of this site tend to frequent the members only section more.
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tim78
Posts: 5
Joined: Thu Apr 14, 2016 12:32 am
United States of America

Lo is my friend

Post by tim78 »

I’ve had a female friend for about 5 years now. It was strictly platonic. She would either call me or we would face time. All of a sudden she had turned into an lo. I was never interested in her before. Now I can’t get her out of my head. She would always initiate the conversations. Now I want to text her or face time her all of the time. I think I can get over it. I’m probably just bored depressed and lonely
peter.rabbit
Posts: 450
Joined: Wed Jul 24, 2019 12:27 am
United States of America

Re: Lo is my friend

Post by peter.rabbit »

@tim78, well if you're single and she's single then I see no reason why there can't be a healthy relationship in the works. ;)
Weak people revenge.
Strong people forgive.
Intelligent people ignore.
-Albert Einstein
Zsababy
Posts: 543
Joined: Fri Jan 07, 2022 8:15 am
United States of America

Re: Lo is my friend

Post by Zsababy »

I agree with the above post. It's quite possible that you're pathologizing a normal progression of friendship to romance & labelling everything as limerance. I think limerance is just fixating on an unavailable or uninterested or iffy person who plays mind games or is straight up abusive or exploitative. You haven't given us much info to ascertain if any of the aforementioned dynamics are happening. If you have doubts, look for any red flags that could be sparking valid negative intuition or to see if you're just over thinking it.
tim78
Posts: 5
Joined: Thu Apr 14, 2016 12:32 am
United States of America

Re: Lo is my friend

Post by tim78 »

I should mention that she’s 16 years younger than I am. So there’s really not a possibility. Fortunately she hasn’t called me or FaceTimed in a while. Maybe she got a boyfriend I don’t know. Unlike the usual highs of limerence I only experience the lows. Like I know it’s unrequited. It should make it easier but it doesn’t
JupiterTaco
Posts: 5664
Joined: Sun Jun 28, 2015 6:12 pm
United States of America

Re: Lo is my friend

Post by JupiterTaco »

I've probably said it before but I don't agree with the idea that just because one and one's LO are both single, that means it's any more healthy of a potential relationship, but that's just me. My fifth LO and I were both single for a long time and worked together for years. Nevertheless the problem was with my own intensity of emotions and that would've made it a toxic relationship had it started. If you can take the time to heal what's inside yourself, then ideally you'd be ready for a real give-and-take relationship but it can take awhile to get there.
"Men are fooled so easily. Women wrelike spiders. They'll pull you into their webs and...wrap you up so tight you can hardly breathe," Griselda Blanco, Cocaine Godmother
L-F
Posts: 4500
Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2017 9:55 am
United States of America

Re: Lo is my friend

Post by L-F »

JupiterTaco wrote: Tue Apr 12, 2022 12:19 am I've probably said it before but I don't agree with the idea that just because one and one's LO are both single, that means it's any more healthy of a potential relationship, but that's just me. My fifth LO and I were both single for a long time and worked together for years. Nevertheless the problem was with my own intensity of emotions and that would've made it a toxic relationship had it started. If you can take the time to heal what's inside yourself, then ideally you'd be ready for a real give-and-take relationship but it can take awhile to get there.
Great post JT! Didn't think about it that way (cos was never single) but you're right. Work on oneself first and then see what happens.
"And in the end, we were all just humans…Drunk on the idea that love, only love, could heal our brokenness." ~ F. Scott Fitzgerald
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