Celebrity limerence

[OCDlimerent]

This is the second post like this that I can relate to. I too have a celebrity crush and it's all-consuming. My psychiatrist isn't sure if it's OCD related (especially the intrusive thoughts) or if it's low-level mania (I'm bipolar) with a dash of hypersexuality.

But I too have pictures on my phone. I follow them on Twitter which is probably the worst thing I could do but I still enjoy it so much.

I too have issues in my relationship. So I think people like us have compensatory fantasies for what is missing or lacking in our relationships. I'm trying to find a therapist to help with this. I suggest you discuss your real-life relationship and where it is lacking.

I think limerance is a mixture of addiction, hard-wiring for intrusive thoughts, and a mental affair and a vacation from boredom all wrapped into one.

I think for people like us it's like how people may drink to deal with & escape from their job: we fantasize to deal or escape our relationship. We just disconnect & avoid reality.

Thanks, I think you’re right. My brain lately has been focused on OCD thoughts about work, maybe it just said ‘enough’ and started fixating on Zendaya instead.

My relationship is alright, my wife is supportive generally but it lacks passion, that could be the problem. We have had some disagreements about family and money too. I try to talk about the lack of passion but we don’t get anywhere. Perhaps the lack of passion is causing me to feel so much passion for Zendaya?

[OCDlimerent]

Btw you can talk to me any time about this. I can totally relate & am looking to discuss my problem with people in the same boat.

Thanks so much same goes for you!

[Zsababy]

Oh Lord can I relate to the lack of passion! Of course my fantasy life is filled with intense passion. I think that's a big cause: boredom & lack of desire.

[Zsababy]

I'm so sorry!! I accidentally hit the "report post" button! I didn't know what it was. I told them in the info part. I hope this doesn't cause problems.

[L-F]

Okay, ima going all L-F'ey on y'all lol... if you don't know what that means, ask someone who has been here awhile.

Excuse me OCDL while I go off topic. Marriages/LTRs. People need to get a grip, they are not, and never will be, perfect.
I think people fall for the fairytale of 'happy ever after' when they hook up. Sorry to burst bubbles, happy ever after is BS! @V I hope you're reading this.

The sooner we start being realistic about real life relationships, the sooner we realize they simply aren't full of passion beyond the honeymoon phase. That's Hollywood BS right there.

I'm going to take a stab in the dark and say all limerents love their partners but are not in-love with them. There. Said it.

But guess what? Thats normal! For everyone! Limerent prone or not, romance and passion forever and a day is reserved for fairytales. The aim of the game is to determine if we're chasing fairytales or real long lasting love that sees us holding hands with our partners in old age.

If it's fairytales, then we might as well split with our partners to remarry and remarry and remarry like all those rich old men trying to fill a void. Sad. Just sad. Forever chasing a dream. Forever trying to remain young.

Right, stepping off my soapbox lol
Real life love looks ugly, but it's real and it lasts, unlike dreams.

Hey OCDL, I had to look her up. Never heard of her. I personally don't think there's anything to psychoanalyze, y'all know exactly what you're doing and why. I guess it's up to us as individuals if we want to keep doing it? Limerence on the other hand, well that's different. That stuff runs deep. Goes way beyond the 'I'm just bored' stuff.

God I love the topic Limerence. Just letting you know you will beat it. Stay strong!

[OCDlimerent]

Oh Lord can I relate to the lack of passion! Of course my fantasy life is filled with intense passion. I think that's a big cause: boredom & lack of desire.

Yes sounds likely to me.

[OCDlimerent]

I'm so sorry!! I accidentally hit the "report post" button! I didn't know what it was. I told them in the info part. I hope this doesn't cause problems.

Not to worry

[OCDlimerent]

Okay, ima going all L-F'ey on y'all lol... if you don't know what that means, ask someone who has been here awhile.

Excuse me OCDL while I go off topic. Marriages/LTRs. People need to get a grip, they are not, and never will be, perfect.
I think people fall for the fairytale of 'happy ever after' when they hook up. Sorry to burst bubbles, happy ever after is BS! @V I hope you're reading this.

The sooner we start being realistic about real life relationships, the sooner we realize they simply aren't full of passion beyond the honeymoon phase. That's Hollywood BS right there.

I'm going to take a stab in the dark and say all limerents love their partners but are not in-love with them. There. Said it.

But guess what? Thats normal! For everyone! Limerent prone or not, romance and passion forever and a day is reserved for fairytales. The aim of the game is to determine if we're chasing fairytales or real long lasting love that sees us holding hands with our partners in old age.

If it's fairytales, then we might as well split with our partners to remarry and remarry and remarry like all those rich old men trying to fill a void. Sad. Just sad. Forever chasing a dream. Forever trying to remain young.

Right, stepping off my soapbox lol
Real life love looks ugly, but it's real and it lasts, unlike dreams.

I totally agree, and have been guilty of unreasonable expectations in the past. But if it was up to my wife, we basically wouldn’t ever sleep together. Maybe once every few months. And that’s not enough for me.

[OCDlimerent]

Hey OCDL, I had to look her up. Never heard of her.

So my initial response was ‘you’ve never heard of her?! But she’s so gorgeous, and talented, and amazing, and perfect… and when you looked her up, why did you not say ‘my God she’s so hot, I totally get what you’re talking about’?!

[AMA210]

Agreeing with LF's post about relationships not being perfect and I think the simple reason is because people are not perfect. There may be those who display that streak (I did), but recognizing that quality within oneself presents the opportunity to figure out, understand, and possibly change that. By doing this, it can reveal the shadows of competition, which ultimately indicates self-worth.
When I was a child, constantly heard "why can't you be more like your sister" or "you can't do anything right". This just sticks with you, and I think that limerence brings it all to the surface fully. I had to prove my worth, over and over again, in order to feel that I was lovable. Now I feel that has been healed within myself and I don't need anyone else to tell me that because I tell myself that. Yes, I am lovable, just as I am, and I don't have to prove it to LO or anyone else.
Relationships of all kinds, not just romantic, are the greatest teachers. We just have to be aware of the lessons they contain and if we want to learn and practice those lessons. This is a free will choice that each of us have.