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Want to tell my story

A place for those new to this site. The more experienced users of this site tend to frequent the members only section more.
messedup
Posts: 7
Joined: Fri Mar 25, 2022 11:31 pm
Canada

Re: Want to tell my story

Post by messedup »

Hi L-F,

I watched an interview with Martha Beck & am anxious to read The Way of Integrity and do the accompanying exercises. So thank you for sharing this wonderful resource.

I am looking for help with jealousy too. I've done some meditations / talks where they suggest the 'antidote' is rejoicing for that person (for example: Unpacking Jealousy by Akasha Love, the You-Ni-Verse podcast at https://www.listennotes.com/podcasts/th ... acu_DBrCb/). She frames it in the context of 'unity consciousness' where we are all part of the same life force - there is no real separation. The mind switches from a 'lack' mentality to abundance. But I want to look into it more, especially around sexual & emotional jealousy. So if you have anything that really resonated with you, I'd be grateful if you shared.

You once mentioned that if you loved the person, you would be happy for them. You're probably familiar with the term 'compersion'? This is along the same lines, being happy for the person / celebrating their success.

I think I already mentioned the tv series Wentworth. I think the 'real-life limerence' was first planted in my head (and heart) with Bridget Westfall (the prison psychologist) being a fantasy LO. I got into fan fiction for a while, wrote & posted some stories on Archive of Our Own (AO3). There is a famous scene where she addresses 'women falling in love with a woman'. See for the scene. The popular catch phrase (among the Libby Tanner fans, at least) comes from there: Fuck the labels.

Are you in contact with your LO?
L-F
Posts: 4500
Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2017 9:55 am
United States of America

Re: Want to tell my story

Post by L-F »

messedup wrote: Sun Apr 10, 2022 5:52 pm Are you in contact with your LO?
No.

Looked over the podcast and it has some great topics. 'There being no real separation' stems from Eastern philosophy? What I say to myself in terms of 'no separation' is, "if I were you I would think/say/do that too". That to me closes the gap between me and them. It gives me the space to see that if I had their upbringing, cultural boundaries and life experiences, then I too would be no different.

Wentworth. My friend has the biggest crush on Bea. Loved the clip. Who needs labels right? How long were you crushing on Bridget Westfall for? And, what was it that drew you to her? Her looks? Her persona? Her position?

Re jealousy...
messedup wrote: So if you have anything that really resonated with you, I'd be grateful if you shared.
Lots of research and reflection. David has a lot of great resources and most of the articles posted by David, myself and others are in the paid members-only section.

If possible, consider joining up even for a month, to look around the forum at various experiences, feedback, articles, etc. It's also a way to express yourself away from the eyes of non-paid members, even if only used for journaling and writing to your LO. There's so much I would like to share with you but feel my past is just that. In brief, limerence stirred up my sexuality where I separated the two and worked on both simultaneously.
"And in the end, we were all just humans…Drunk on the idea that love, only love, could heal our brokenness." ~ F. Scott Fitzgerald
L-F
Posts: 4500
Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2017 9:55 am
United States of America

Re: Want to tell my story

Post by L-F »

Oh! I forgot to add, re jealousy... for me, it was about control. But in terms of LO, I was never jealous, only happy for her.

To be blunt, could it be about rejection and a bruised ego? I know if I was jealous of LO sleeping with someone even though we weren't a couple, I would feel awfully rejected.
"And in the end, we were all just humans…Drunk on the idea that love, only love, could heal our brokenness." ~ F. Scott Fitzgerald
L-F
Posts: 4500
Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2017 9:55 am
United States of America

Re: Want to tell my story

Post by L-F »

"And in the end, we were all just humans…Drunk on the idea that love, only love, could heal our brokenness." ~ F. Scott Fitzgerald
messedup
Posts: 7
Joined: Fri Mar 25, 2022 11:31 pm
Canada

Re: Want to tell my story

Post by messedup »

L-F, Thanks for the two articles. I found them both very helpful.
Sorry for the delayed response. I've been away, back home now.
I'm open to more articles / resources, as you come across them! Thanks again.
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