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Word Games

A place for those new to this site. The more experienced users of this site tend to frequent the members only section more.
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Apocalimerence
Posts: 1
Joined: Mon Apr 04, 2022 8:01 pm
Gender:
Bahrain

Word Games

Post by Apocalimerence »

I just found this site and also this topic last week. It looks like something I have had trouble with for years. Part of my problem is I find little ways of convincing myself that what I feel is real. Despite knowing it is a fantasy, I still would spend hours pondering over small moments of contact and searching for signs that I had in some way made an effect upon my LO. Finding this word, limerence, last week, has broken something in my brain. For the first time in about five years (how long I've been in my current limerence) I find myself able to fight what was just weeks before completely uncontrollable impulses. To say I feel embarrassed is an understatement. I feel like a complete and utter fool. I am so absolutely ashamed of myself. When I thought it was real love, I was able to make so many excuses, but now knowing it is a somewhat common mental issue, I feel a bit torn apart. I feel weak and tricked.
My most recent bout of limerence began with a set of intense dreams about my LO. I sought to work them out in different ways, but the more I had small exposure to my LO, the more intense my obsession became. I am in no way part of their world or would otherwise be around them, if it wasn't for me trying to be.
I feel like I just woke up. Despite being mad at myself, I also found that I had the most incredibly happy day, yesterday, and though I can't help but hate my wasted time, I feel like, from this point forward, the spell has been broken. I think I've started to no longer care about my LO.
I can't tell all of you enough how great that feels. I feel like I have been let out of a cage.
Now, I have to salvage every other part of my life, and trust me when I say that there is a lot of work to do. Every time an intrusive thought of my LO even begins to appear, I whisper limerence under my breath, and it has worked this last week like a charm. My magic spell.
The word has freed me. I am not in love, just obsessive, and there is a cure. Awareness.
Unrequited love does not die; it’s only beaten down to a secret place where it hides, curled and wounded. For some unfortunates, it turns bitter and mean, and those who come after pay the price for the hurt done by the one who came before.
― E.N.
JupiterTaco
Posts: 5666
Joined: Sun Jun 28, 2015 6:12 pm
United States of America

Re: Word Games

Post by JupiterTaco »

It sounds like you're on the right track! Good for you!
"You know for a big black guy Cleveland's got a cute little white ass!" Peter, Family Guy
"Um...that wasn't Cleveland," Brian
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