Indiscriminate Limerence :(

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Lalapow
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Indiscriminate Limerence :(

Post by Lalapow »

Edit: I'd like this post to be deleted so people don't waste time reading it, because I think I could have done a better job of explaining my situation and the difficulty with cutting off my LO. Sorry and I appreciate the responses I got, I'm contemplating them. But I'd appreciate if a mod would just delete it

Hi, I'm new, so sorry if this is a common sentiment. I find that my brain has a large pool of potential LOs, and I can't think of a demographic group (gender, age, physical characteristics, etc.) that will disqualify someone. I think I just get limerent over people I admire and have a lot in common with, in other words, people who would make good friends. So anyone I would want to be close friends with, I could probably get limerent over.

A few months ago, I was limerent over one of my friends; then it switched to a new friend. But if I cut her off, it will probably just go back to the first friend. I've read that the only way to end limerence is to end contact with your LO (or confess, which will also likely result in loss of contact). But I think if I do this, I'll end up without any friends. No one is safe!

Having a partner didn't really help as I still got limerent over someone else.

Just looking for support, or advice on how to be close friends with an LO, while minimizing the limerence as much as possible. Are there any resources for this? Any tips? Thanks :)
Last edited by Lalapow on Tue May 17, 2022 2:46 am, edited 1 time in total.
David
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Re: Indiscriminate Limerence :(

Post by David »

Welcome Lalapow to the forum

As for being friends with your LO, forget it, its like an alcoholic believing they can quit alcohol but still drink. Most addicts are delusional about their addiction.
Purchase the 20 part video series on overcoming limerence for just $49 - see https://limerence.thinkific.com/courses/healing-limerence
JupiterTaco
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Re: Indiscriminate Limerence :(

Post by JupiterTaco »

I agree, I'm convinced that there are certain people that will always have that chemical effect on me.
"Are you jealous?" Carmen, The L Word
"No, I'm not fucking jealous. It just made me sad," Shane
"So you go and you fuck Cherie Jaffe? Shane, what kind of a psychotic response is that?" Carmen
Idiotic
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Re: Indiscriminate Limerence :(

Post by Idiotic »

I'm here to say I am in fact good friends with my LO, and with zero limerence. Of course it was a trial by fire, and after many months of working on my own problems, and with No intention of keeping LO in my life, I find myself being In a comfortable relationship with LO. LO is just another good friend now, she's not the focus of my existence.
Hello to my old friends. Just remembered this place, while I was reminiscent of old crazy times. Idk if it's growing up or whatever, but whatever you guys are growing through, you can come out of it, even serial limerents.
I keep dancing on my own - Robyn
David
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Re: Indiscriminate Limerence :(

Post by David »

Pleased to read your update idiotic and so glad that you are over the worst of it. There are exceptions to the rule, you are in the very rare category of where you’ve been able to develop a friendship with your limerent object.
Purchase the 20 part video series on overcoming limerence for just $49 - see https://limerence.thinkific.com/courses/healing-limerence
L-F
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Re: Indiscriminate Limerence :(

Post by L-F »

Idiotic wrote: Sun Jun 26, 2022 6:10 pm Just remembered this place, while I was reminiscent of old crazy times.
Admit it. It's because you missed me :D
Limerence is an addiction to romance based on insecurity. LF
Idiotic
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Re: Indiscriminate Limerence :(

Post by Idiotic »

wrote:
Admit it. It's because you missed me :D
Hahaha you're absolutely right. Your love lead me back here. :o3
Last edited by Idiotic on Mon Jun 27, 2022 7:51 am, edited 1 time in total.
I keep dancing on my own - Robyn
Idiotic
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Re: Indiscriminate Limerence :(

Post by Idiotic »

David wrote: Sun Jun 26, 2022 8:37 pm Pleased to read your update idiotic and so glad that you are over the worst of it. There are exceptions to the rule, you are in the very rare category of where you’ve been able to develop a friendship with your limerent object.
Yeah I agree, it hasn't been easy at all. But my point was it's definitely possible. As long as you work on actively changing your thoughts and need for validation , the LO gradually loses power over you ...
I keep dancing on my own - Robyn
L-F
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Re: Indiscriminate Limerence :(

Post by L-F »

Im chipping in here, I have two close friends who are friends with their LOs. It can be done.

Both have shared that they now think their LOs are at times, twats, and the shine (or as some say, the 'glimmer') has definitely gone. One works with her LO, the other has her LO in their social circle. The veil has lifted and that 'magical' pull jumped on a ship, sailed away, hit an iceberg, and sunk.
Limerence is an addiction to romance based on insecurity. LF
David
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Re: Indiscriminate Limerence :(

Post by David »

Still better to go NC for a period of time to get over the limerence iMJ
Purchase the 20 part video series on overcoming limerence for just $49 - see https://limerence.thinkific.com/courses/healing-limerence
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