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College student with the worst crush of his life

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Lovr884*
Posts: 2
Joined: Tue Sep 27, 2022 4:42 am
Gender:
United States of America

College student with the worst crush of his life

Post by Lovr884* »

Hi… I don’t know how I precisely found this forum but I have a firmly embedded crush on a girl I don’t know very well.. but I have gotten to know. I was not thinking about her earlier in the year and I almost moved on but since I contacted her and found out she has a boyfriend last month I’ve been very fixated on her and it’s hell. Unrequited love is making me miserable. She was the only pretty girl to express genuine interest in me, and not only that, but she was so nice to me when other people weren’t. She truly is beautiful in personality and looks. Her bubbly perky personality, her eyes and curly hair and distinctly cool sense of fashion, I appreciate everything. If only I could hold her hand and kiss her one more time. Sigh. I haven’t developed such strong feelings for a girl since 10th grade of high school, and even that was only for a few weeks. This is why I came to LO because I truly wanted to experience life with her and since I can’t, I just think about how great she is a lot.

Now I’m at college beginning graduate school in a city far away from home and I still can’t reduce the frequency of thoughts of her and how delightful it would be to experience life with her. I feel so bitter. I’m such a failure with girls. the opposite sex has rejected me all throughout my teen and young adult years. I’m going to be 23 in not too long and I’ve never experienced a relationship. No girl has ever considered me good enough. The few times I spent with LO were the closest experiences I’ve had to having a girlfriend. I have plans to keep improving my situation until I get what I want out of life, namely young love, and I have tried so much already. Am I destined to be loveless?

Today I sparked a conversation with a cute, nice- eyed girl who sat next to me in my first class and I hope I see her again next time because she truly was pleasant to look at and quite cordial to me. I do have initiative to improve myself, chiefly through putting myself out there more, trying the apps again, buying new clothes, a matchmaker at some point. I want to be able to enjoy the young part of my life with a pretty girl like LO by my side. I have so much affection and love to give, and I desire love. I felt like LO, when I first met her and saw her, was the best girl. The perfect girl to experience college with, and experience young love with. Funny, pretty, intelligent, thoughtful, stylish… what more could a young man could desire?

Will she ever leave my mind? Likely not because we still chat, but I hope to at least win the heart of another girl who is funny, stylish, and pretty. I think writing all this down and expressing it is slightly cathartic, but I still wish I could be with her. To know another young man gets to experience happiness and companionship with the girl I really like saddens me.
Zsababy
Posts: 543
Joined: Fri Jan 07, 2022 8:15 am
United States of America

Re: College student with the worst crush of his life

Post by Zsababy »

I replied to your other post & so my other comments still stand, but I get where you're at. I was torturing myself in college by fixating on unattainable guys. But again, when you cling to a fantasy, you lose out on a good reality. Remember your fantasy is just that, an ideal that's not based in reality.

Again, these fixations don't last forever. I can't tell how many guys "I couldn't live without" that I have completely forgotten about! Seriously! I thought that being with them would be the most sublime experience ever and total ecstasy & now I don't give them a second thought. For real. It will fade, I promise you.

Also, if youve experienced a lot of rejection, you might not want to pursue the kind of girl who's going to have a million guys vying for her attention. The competition will be stiff. I don't know how to phrase this, but perhaps make your goals more easy to attain. Go for girls that you share common interests with, not just the pretty or hot girls that have a million choices of guys. Physical attraction is a powerful thing, but it's not everything. It's better to find someone attainable that you connect with than to wait around for the Ideal One to come to you.
JupiterTaco
Posts: 5665
Joined: Sun Jun 28, 2015 6:12 pm
United States of America

Re: College student with the worst crush of his life

Post by JupiterTaco »

To add on to Zsababy's post, you don't know this girl, who she really is, or what your future would be like together. Try to focus on her differences from you and how they would affect a future together negatively if that helps. Otherwise, try to understand that all of this rejection you feel is fueling your present limerence and the chances of it transferring to someone new endlessly until you deal with the causes of it and cut out the LO. There's lots of reading here, you might come across something you didn't even see inside of yourself that fuels your limerence. Focus on yourself and your healing.
"You know for a big black guy Cleveland's got a cute little white ass!" Peter, Family Guy
"Um...that wasn't Cleveland," Brian
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