My story

[L-F]

These strategies have kept us safe and it takes corrective, loving experiences to heal.

Totally agree with. Especially when unaware of why one does what they do.
On the other hand, I'm talking about being aware and choosing the easier or more pleasurable path.
I know I'm lazy because trying to uncover all there is to uncover and rewire my brain at the same time... Nah. I'm happy being dysfunctional. Understanding and acceptance has helped. I'm also aware of dysfunctional patterns in others (who happened to be responsible for passing poor relational behaviour down the family tree), and, I'm okay with them too! True unconditional acceptance of their f'd-upness. To be honest, don't think I'd want to change them - not that I could, but if I could, I'm weirdly okay with how life shaped them. Intergenerational trauma is a b!t_h.

Not trying to belittle trauma work. I also work in that space, I'm only talking from my experiences and conclusions on this thing called life.

[Fiddlestickgoddess]

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[Fiddlestickgoddess]

I'm only talking from my experiences and conclusions on this thing called life.

Heard, understood, & relate. We need to chill sometimes, can’t always be diving into the abyss and rewiring our nervous systems. It’s a bit much. Amen re intergenerational trauma. This stuff feels centuries old.

[L-F]

Lol... Centuries old

Adding I don't counsel people, nope, too f up for that!

Enjoyed this discussion.

Thanks for sharing a bit more about your LE!

[David]

Thanks for posting more about your story and situation, I enjoy reading about the myriad of circumstances that brings people onto this site.

I sometimes think we get too wrapped up in the labels especially those in the therapeutic world. It doesn’t matter whether it’s Limerence, unrequited love, love addiction, romance addiction. It all leads to pain when the other person doesn’t have the same level of commitment as we do. Or perhaps there are other barriers to consummating the relationship.

It sounds like you have a good understanding of yourself and the reasons why we develop erotic feelings for other people . I don’t think we have all the answers as to why we as humans sometimes get caught in these storms. For Me one of the biggest lessons of Limerence was learning to develop self compassion and understanding it’s okay to have feelings erotic for other people even though at times these can’t be consummated If I choose to stay in a committed monogamous relationship.

I can see how frustrating it would be though if both parties were available for a relationship and yet one felt more desire than the other. Limerence in that situation must be pretty tough.

[L-F]

I hope you visit again Fiddlestickgodess!

To sum up in an eloquent yet simplistic quote by Søren Kierkegaard, "Face the facts of being what you are, for that is what changes what you are.". This is what I mean by acceptance. When we understand who we are, we become empowered. When we understand who others are, we become empathetic and boundaried.

I don’t think we have all the answers as to why we as humans sometimes get caught in these storms. For Me, one of the biggest lessons of Limerence was learning to develop self compassion

To become more compassionate towards self is a great lesson to learn. limerence can lead to positive outcomes.